Truthful Tuedays is brand friggin’ new here on Mommy in Color. I’m not sure if I will make it any kind of series or weekly day but today I feel like telling a truth about me.It’s not like a mind altering,life changing truth but it is hard to put my truth out there nonetheless.
My truth is that I don’t know if I can do this. And what I mean by “this” is blogging. I mean I know I can write well. I’ve been doing it since I was five. I have won more elementary school essay and poem contests than I care to remember but this is a horse of a different color.I’m talking about something I love very much. I want to write every day for the rest of my life and yes…profit from it.But can I do it?
Right now I’m on unemployment with a mom who recently had a heart attack and doesn’t know if we should move or not. My five year old spends her days on her computer which I know is not healthy but sometimes I get lazy and honestly i don’t know where to start to get her more focused and ready for school.
Since I’ve chosen blogging as my writing medium, I’ve opened up myself for a whole new world of sometimes very confusing things like:plugins, and SEOs and sometimes it’s confusing even though I’ve purchased several books to help me out.Writing is the easier part, it’s just the promoting and figuring out how to make money with my words. That’s the part that makes me want to give up. I’ve never given up on anything in my life and I don’t want to start.I look at all the other young moms like me and see them some how balancing children, work,and school and I want that.
I feel pressured to set a good example for Amani. She depends on me to do everything for her and I won’t let her down.But where do I start? I’ve gotten advice from every one I know. Some have suggested that I go back into the working world and have a steady work history while some have advised me to follow my dream because I’ll never feel satisfied until I do.I appreciate all advice but it’s just so hard because no one is in my shoes but me. I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet, but sometimes I pick it up.