Monthly Archives: December 2013

2014 Blogging Goals

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I think that Mommy In Color had a decent 2013. I got quite a few more followers, both on the blog and on Twitter,and even more of my personal friends are reading and talking about it. No, I’m not getting paid and I havent gotten nominated for any blog awards,but you have to crawl before you can walk. I’ve grown as a blogger and a woman and Mommy In Color reflects that growth. But…I could be doing better and here’s how I want to do that.

1) I plan on posting twp to three times a week. Although I didn’t finish NaBloPoMo,I got alot of ideas for series I’d like to do. Some of them were You May Quote Me… and From My Personal Diary

2)I got a chance to get some exposure,on my favorite natural hair blog, Good Hair Diaries and that motivated me to start trying to get featured on some of my other favorite blogs in the new year so don’t be surprised if I come a-knocking on your blog door.I’d also like to be featured on other blogs that are about what I know the most about: parenting!

3) Listen, Mommy In Color is meant to show the colorful life of a mother and I want the look to reflect that. Realistically,I can’t afford to pay someone to do a revamp for me. Ain’t nobody got that kind of money! So,my onlyoption is to learn how to do it myself. I mean, I’ve seen a lot of blogs do well with a WordPress theme & format but I’m so much more than that. A blog design is supposed to reflect the blogger’s persona and mine is odd & colorful. I’m hoping in 2014 that I can figure out how to do my own design

4) Mama needs a new pair of shoes! I’m so serious. I want to start getting a couple dollars for my words. I seriously don’t know where to start or how much I should be making but I know a community of bloggers who can point me in the right direction. I don’t expect to make much at first, but I want to start somewhere.

5)Last but not least, I want Mommy in Color to become a place where all young moms can come when they need inspiration, encouragement, or at least to know they are not alone. My content will be digging deeper into the tough stuff while simultaneously showing what it is that young moms care about. I want to do some interviews and feature some brave teen/young moms. I have alot of work ahead of me,but I also am motivated and ready for a challenge!

WHAT ARE YOUR BLOG GOALS?LEAVE THEM TO ME IN YOUR COMMENTS OR THE LINK TO YOUR BLOG ABOUT IT!

Anti Breakage Challenge (Part Two): Week 2

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Week 2 was pretty much a breeze. I was very excited about trying my Shea Moisture products and I found a way to implement them into the challenge.

For this week,I was instructed to pre poo with ORS Hair Mayonnaise for 30 minutes. That was easy peasy lemon squeezy(I overheard Bubba say it…don’t ask). As always I sectioned my  hair into four. I do that before doing anything with my hair and I advise you do the same. If you have more hair than I do, you may need to do more sections.

I used my fabulous Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo. It was totally worth the $12,my mom paid for it. It lathers well& didnt’t feel stripping at all. Ladies who are really about their products being 100% natural should definitely try Shea Moisture. Check out this label:
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I did my DC with Shea Moisture Restorative Conditioner. Lord know I needed some restoration for Diva( not sure if I mentioned before,but Diva St. James is my hair’s name lol).I used a quarter sized amount for each section and I started from the tip and went up to the root. Here’s the ONE thing that irritated me. I was supposed to DC with a hooded dryer for 30 minutes but I don’t have one so…I had to use my hand dryer. Listen,I’m so dedicated to helping Diva go back to her former glory,I held the hand dryer over my head for the entire thirty minutes. Diva thanked me because when I washed the conditioner out, she was so soft &fluffy like cotton candy. I don’t think my hair has ever been that soft without a relaxer.Shea Moisture was definitely my Eureka! moment.

I LOC’d as normal with EVOO & my Creme of Nature with Argan Oil Moisturizer. I want to change my oil to EVCO because its winter here in NYC & I don’t wear a hat so I need extra protection. I’ve been wearing my hair in twists& I’ll be doing so until the last week of the challenge,when I’ll rock a sock bun. I feel like I’m getting my confidence and self esteem back and at the end of the day, that’s what my hair journey is all about. I want my hair to always reflect how I feel on any given day and having healthy hair will show that I’m feeling good about Jennice as a mommy, sister,daughter but most importantly, a woman.

FOLLOW MY CHALLENGE FROM THE BEGINNING HERE and HERE

Anti Breakage(Part Two) Week One:

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I don’t know why I EVER stopped taking care of my hair. It feels amazing to spend time on it. Taking care of it is an extension of taking care of me! Here’s a starting pic of Diva(my hair lol):
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I didn’t have a clarifying shampoo and my hair and my hair budget said “Uh…no m’am”. Luckily,I did have apple cider vinegar and it clarifies when used as a rinse so I did that. I sprayed plenty of it on Diva because I had literally piled on the hair gel when styling. I left the rinse in each section for a few minutes while I went section by section(starting from the back) shampooing. This week’s shampoo of choice was Creme of Nature w/Argan Oil from Morocco sulfate free shampoo. It gives my hair moisture and shine. Can’t go wrong with that!

I only shampooed once and only used shampoo in the scalp not the entire length of the hair. I used APHOGEE 2 Minute Reconstructor but didn’t detangle. I watched television for half an hour while letting the conditioner sit with a conditioner cap on. I washed it out and applied Tresemmme Moisture Rich conditioner before detangling. That conditioner is really an instant one, so I detangled, left it on for 5 minutes and washed that out. My hair felt brand friggin’ new! YES,GAWD!!!

I spent twenty minutes just touching my hair. It had not felt this soft in so long and the breakage was already less from that one was session. There was only a bit in the comb. Even my rough patch was kind of soft (its still bratty,though). Once I stopped making love to my hair,I put in my Shea Moisture Restorative Conditioner as a leave in. You only need a dime size amount but I used a quarter size just because I felt more comfortable with it. I’m going to tell you right now, Shea Moisture is a little on the expensive side ($11.99 for a 13oz bottle) so I don’t suggest using it all willy nilly.

My favorite part of wash day is LOC. Not sure why but,I enjoy putting my EVOO in it because it makes my hair shiny and soft. For my creme,I chose Creme of Nature w/ Argan Oil from Morocco Oil Moisturizer. Its pretty thick and once again less is more,especially if you don’t have the dime! My hair was still damp so I let it air dry for a few hours and then twisted it up.I just can’t stay away fron my ECO Styler gel but I didn’t pile it on. I didn’t need to because the twists came out pretty darn good.

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I left those twists in for three days and when I took them out,they weren’t crunchy but very FIERCE! I didn’t put any additional product in it because it was prettyuch everything I wanted it to be, except for my twists in the back. The hair I describe as my “rough patch”, is very short and super kinky but I’ll be tackling that real soon.
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These are pics from day three& four of my twistout. All I did to keep it tight and keep it right was pineapple and scarf it at night,then fluff a little in the morning

DO YOU HAVE A BREAKAGE PROBLEM?JOIN THE CHALLENGE. HEAD OVER TO GOODHAIRDIARIES.BLOGSPOT.COM FOR THE GUIDELINES AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!

Where was the Good? Because it Was Bad, Then It Got Ugly

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Lately, I’ve been thinking about my pregnancy with Bubba. It was pretty ugly. I wasn’t happy and a good portion of the people involved weren’t either. Let me explain.

When I first announced my pregnancy, I was sitting with my best friends at IHOP.It was the day of our senior breakfast bit we weren’t feeling what was being served,so we treated ourselves to a REAL breakfast. Somewhere between my fourth pancake and third sausage link,I told my friends I suspected I was pregnant. One of them suggested we buy a cheapie pregnancy test and then head to my friend’s house so I could take it. My best girlfriend had to help me because I had no clue how to take the test. As soon as the test read positive,she burst out laughing. How could she laugh when my whole world was shattered?

On my way home, a million thoughts were racing through my head. A baby? A human baby? What will the father say? What will my mothers say? How am I going to take care of a baby? I had moved out of my mom’s house and in with another relative a few months before I got pregnant. This other relative gave me the freedom I had wanted and felt I deserved being a teenage girl. But your girl was just a little too free.

I didn’t tell my relative for awhile and when we finally talked about it,she was pretty calm. She asked all the obligatory questions: Are you sure? Who is the father? What are you going to do? I knew she was hinting at abortion, but that was completely out of the question. She took me to the clinic and got me started on prenatal care. There was tension between us,but she still had not blown a fuse. Until the day after graduation.

Now,the details are a little fuzzy but I remember my relative getting upset about dirty dishes in the sink. It wasn’t her first time ranting about dishes left in the sink but this rant became verbally abusive. She went on to express her disappointment and disgust at my being pregnant. Of course I expected disappointment from her because I was disappointed in myself. However, I was called EVERY deragatory name you can call a woman. She even wished that I had contracted and STD and AIDS from Bubba’s father. I was so stunned but I figured that she just needed to get her hurt and anger out of her system and that she didn’t mean any of it. Dude, I was sooo wrong.

The abuse continued throughout my pregnancy. The attacks would always start with something unrelated and minute and escalate into a massive ball of hatred. Bubba’s dad would send me money and she would get upset over that and she also forbid me from seeing him. When I went for my 5 month sonogram,I got the news that Bubba may have Downs Syndrome. That is the worst news any mom, especially a first time mom, could receive. When I went home to tell my relative, she was very supportive. She said “Whatever happens, we’ll take care of the baby together” and “God will get us through”. For the first time in months,I thought I could maybe be happy about my impending motherhood. Psyche!

A few weeks after that sonogram, Relative cussed me out and said if my baby had Downs Syndrome it was my fault for being a whore. After that, my pregnancy was miserable. I told my relative to come to my baby shower,but she decided to stay home and get high. When I bought baby things home to show her,she looked at me like I had grown two heads. I was so depressed,I didn’t even take pregnancy pictures because why would I want pics of the shame I had bought on myself and family?

The day I went into labor everything was going okay until Relative showed up. I could feel the resentment and tension she was feeling. She even made fun of my excruciating contractions. She stood aroud my hospital bed and I remember her saying she wouldn’t have even come if her son hadn’t pitched a fit about it when they found out I was in labor. After Bubba came, she mumbled a “Congratulations” and left the hospital. I didn’t see her again until I went home with the baby.

I continued being verbally abused until my mother rescued me. I have forgiven my relative and it seems we’ve moved past it…for now. The point of this story is to let teen moms know they should NEVER allow anyone to abuse them in ANY way (yes,words count). Pregnancy is a blessing,no matter who its bestowed upon and its a joyous time. To the parents and relatives of teen parents,please don’t shame your children. It’s okay to be disappointed and angry,but verbally abusing them is NOT going to change the fact that they are going to be parents. Be loving and supportive so that they will be loving and supportive parents,too!!!

Starting From the Bottom

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Last week while washing my hair, I got the surprise of my life. My hair was breaking like nobody’s business! It was coming out practically in chunks. I hadn’t experienced breakage like that since I first started transitioning. My hair was on the shower walls,curtains,and all over the tub. It was a real wake up call.

You see, I had stopped taking care of my hair for the last three months. I was so wrapped up in my mourning and grief that I just stopped caring. I was used to washing my hair every week,but aftermy mom’s passing, I did it once over that three month period. Seeing my hair all over my shower was definitely a wake up call. It’s time for me to pull myself together.

In that regard,I will be participating in Good Hair Diaries’ Anti Breakage Challenge again. I’ve participated in this challenge before (Anti Breakage Challenge :Week One; Anti Breakage Challenge: Weeks 2&3) and it worked like a charm.Its a month long challenge. This time around I’m going to be using different products.

I’m on a really tight hair budget,so I have to use only what I have to pull this off and maybe even modify some things. I wanted to implement some Shea Moisture products into this challenge because I’ve heard so much positive things abt it. Its way out of my budget but my mom is the sweetest mom and got two of the products from the line for me!
I will be starting this challenge this Monday because I’m going to need uninterrupted time to myself and Bubba will be in school,so win-win. Here are the products I will be using:

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Shampoos: CREME OF NATURE with Argan Oil from Morocco Sulfate free Moisture&Shine and SHEA MOISTURE Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo w/ Sea Kelp&Argan Oil

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Conditioners: SHEA MOISTURE Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner w/Sea Kelp&Argan Oil, APHOGEE Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor, ORS Olive Oil Hair Masque Intense Treatment

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LOC:Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO), CREME OF NATURE W/Argan Oil from Morocco Oil Moisturizer

NOTE: I forgot to mention I will be using TRESemme Luxurious Moisture Conditioner and ab ACV rinse instead of a clarifying shampoo

Bubba’s Bantu Knot Out

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I’ve been asked about how I’m able to achieve Bubba’s bouncing curls without the use of a curling iron. My answer is: a bantu knot out. Unfortunately, alot of the moms in my neighborhood& social circle don’t know what that is,so I’ve decided to detail the process for everyone.

The first thing I do in preparation for the knot out is pre poo Bubba’s hair with either EVOO or (in this case) PROFECTIV Anti Breakage Detangling Conditioner. I used this because lately I’ve been having trouble with detangling Bubba’s hair. Its been really dry but I think that has to do with the cold and dry weather we’ve had recently. Anyway,I tie her hair into four (almost equal) sections and let the hair sit for about 30 minutes.

Once it was time to shampoo, I used Creme of Nature sulfate free shampoo,which is gentler on her hair. The thing to remember about shampooing is that you don’t have to add shampoo to the entire length,just the scalp. When you rinse, the water will cause the soap to trickle down the rest of the hair shaft,effectively cleaning it.Also, each section gets one wash and that’s it.

I use a instant conditioner after washing. An instant conditioner is one that you leave in for a few minutes and then rinse out. Bubba has low tolerance for wash day ,so the quicker I do things the better, lol. She loves VO5 Moisture Milks Conditioner (Strawberries&Cream). I comb it through her hair with a wide tooth shower comb. It helps with detangling& getting the conditioner evenly through the hair. Works like a charm!

Her hair goes back into four ponytails,so I can LOC(while the hair is damp,I add my oil combo which is avocado&EVOO and then a moisturizing creme). I let it air dry for awhile because I’m going to be using gel for the knots and they have to be completely dry before I take them down the next day.
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The knots are very easy. All your doing is a simple two strand twist and then wrapping the twist around itself. Normally, they will stay wrapped up but when I do it,I have to use a rubberband to get it to stay put. You can make however many rows you want with however many knots you want in each row. Just make sure that you grease the scalp with your oil of choice as you go along. I used castor oil and ECO Styler gel to have less frizz during the takedown.The results were amazing!
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The knots can be worn as is,because its like a cute punk rock look. Bubba,however, prefers just the curls

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The takedown the next morning. You unravel the knots in a counterclockwise direction. If you want more volume, unravel the twists a little more and then use an afro pick to pick the scalp a little bit. Once again Bubba prefers a sleeker looking curl which I don’t mind because the curl will start off tighter and during the course of the day, they will loosen up.

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IS THE BANTU KNOT OUT A STYLE YOU WILL BE TRYING/HAVE TRIED ON YOUR DAUGHTER? IF SO, SEND ME A PIC OF THE RESULTS AND I’LL BE HAPPY TO SHARE THEM ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE!