In the Christmas Spirit

Christmas is coming! I can’t believe another year of Christmas trees, window decorations, pictures with Santa, and going completely broke buying toys for the kids. And I love every minute of it. Wait, wait, wait before you close the window because my cheeriness (I think that’s a word) is making you nauseous, hear me out.
Between losing my mother and a boyfriend within three weeks of each other(I dumped him after he confessed to cheating while I was in the process of planningy mom’s funeral) last year and celebrating Christmas in a hotel after Hurricane Sandy and losing my aunt the year before(she passed three weeks after the hurricane ),I figure its time for my family to truly have a merry Christmas. So my mom put up our Martha Stewart Aspen Fir *sips tea with pinky up* and Amani and I helped decorate it. I got the stockings and tree skirt and ALL of Amani’s gifts are already in the house. Pats on the back for me!

Amani isn’t the only kid in my house but my brother is 17 and you know how surly teenagers can be. But Amani still believes in Christmas magic. I’m not just celebrating it for her,however. Her joy and happiness is only part of the picture. I need something to be happy about. I spend my weeks the same: take Amani to school, pick her up, go to work, come home late and sleep 5 hours just to repeat the process the next day. The monotony makes me feel pathetic and lonely.My family has been in mourning for the last two Christmases and I’m ready to move past the hurt I feel for my lost loved ones. Christmas used to mean so much to me as a kid obviously because of all the gifts but as an adult it means something else:healing. I want Christmas to be my saving grace this year. I want a renewed zest for life before New Years. And I must say, healing feels good!!!


With Love Always,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s