Monthly Archives: May 2015

Faithful Friday #1- The Beginning

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I got baptized when I was 16 years old. I attended church with my mom and brother every night after school. We lived two hours away from church but that didn’t stop my mother from having us there every day. We returned home very sleepy and our schoolwork suffered. I liked church.My favorite part was the choir. Man, those voices! It made me feel good and it made me feel like there was hope. My mom was so wrapped in church life, she had no time for the regular day to day of raising a teenage daughter and our relationship suffered.

When I left home and moved in with a relative at 17, I left everything I learned about God and all of that behind. After I gave birth to Bubba at 18, I took her with me to church when she was about two months old. The people I considered my church family had turned their backs on me. The sister who had helped my family find their niche in the church totally ignored me and Bubba when my mother tried to introduce her to my baby.She even took it took it a step further by referring to my brother as her  “pot of gold”. I felt so humiliated and shamed. I had let God and my church down. Except my pastor. At the end of Sunday services, the pastor will pray for everyone in the congregation individually. I took Bubba with me to get prayer and before he put his hands on me, he looked at me and asked “Is this your child?”. I hung my head down and mumbled “Yes,sir”. He pulled my chin up so that I was looking directly in his eyes. ” God gave you this baby. You be the mother she deserves and don’t worry about the rest”. He prayed for us and I left that altar feeling better.

Fast forward to the present, and I have totally disconnected from God. Being saved is NOT easy and I don’t know if I’m ready to do it. I know that I face an eternity in Hell if I don’t get my life together, but I would much rather be honest with God than fake the funk to make anyone else comfortable. Lately, I faced some changes in my life and I came to the conclusion that its time for me to start rebuilding the ONE broken relationship I have in my life that can be repaired,my relationship with God. I’ve been reading by bible every night. I pray every night. My praying needs work but I’m not trippin’ because He knows I mean well. And through diligence, my praying, worship and praise will get better. I’m not promising that I’ll be attending church regulary or speaking in tongue any time soon, but I miss God and I miss having someone who I know has my best interests at heart. Like a good father.

Faithful Friday is something new I’m trying and I hope I can reach a spiritual family for support and guidance. Who knows, maybe my journey (and my honesty about that journey) will help someone else grow closer to God. I feel that a lot of people are not honest about the struggle that is present when you are trying to be saved, but I plan to be very candid and open about hardships when it comes to being a Christian. I don’t plan on being preachy or changing other things about Mommy In Color. I just know this is something I need to do for me.

You May Quote… #6

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This week’s quote is actually a partial poem. I got it from The Huffington Post’s Midday Meditations a couple of weeks ago. Hope you get the tranquility I got from it. Carry on!

sunflowers

Sunflower Sutra (portion) by Allen Ginsberg

A perfect beauty of a sunflower! a perfect excellent lovely sunflower existence! a sweet natural eye to the new hip moon, woke up alive and excited grasping in the sunset shadow sunrise golden monthly breeze!
How many flies buzzed round you innocent of your grime, while you cursed the heavens of the railroad and your flower soul?
Poor dead flower? when did you forget you were a flower? when did you look at your skin and decide you were an impotent dirty old locomotive? the ghost of a locomotive? the specter and shade of a once powerful mad American locomotive?
You were never no locomotive, Sunflower, you were a sunflower!
And you Locomotive, you are a locomotive, forget me not!
So I grabbed up the skeleton thick sunflower and stuck it at my side like a scepter,
and deliver my sermon to my soul, and Jack’s soul too, and anyone who’ll listen,
—We’re not our skin of grime, we’re not dread bleak dusty imageless locomotives, we’re golden sunflowers inside, blessed by our own seed & hairy naked accomplishment-bodies growing into mad black formal sunflowers in the sunset, spied on by our own eyes under the shadow of the mad locomotive riverbank sunset Frisco hilly tincan evening sitdown vision.

Mommy and Me Monday #2- The Thompson Family

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How many children do you have and what are their ages?
I have 4 children and one on the way-  
13. boy
8. girl
6. girl
9mo. girl
and due 6/20 girl
 The 13year old, 8year old, and the 9mo old are mine through birth. the 6yr old we have full custody of her. She is a cousin technically. 
 
What is ONE song that reminds you of your child(ren)?
I like to move it from Madagascar (movie). We have watched those movies over and over and over again… I think I may have most of the lines memorized!! lol
 
How would you define your style of parenting?
I would say I am more laid back and relaxed. I try not to stress about every little thing… though I do have my moments. I feel kids need to be kids yet still learn responsibility. That sometimes they have to learn from their own mistakes. And I will never be perfect and there will always be someone to point it out in life… so I try and take a day at a time, love them and make sure they know they are loved. Tell them all the time. Pray for them and with them. And just try and be the best I can be
 
Do you have a restaurant or favorite place that you will only go with your child(ren)?
I guess this would have to be chuck e cheese cuz i sure am not going to go with out my kids!!! lol. 
 
What is one piece of advice you would give your child(ren) that can apply to their entire life?
Be yourself. No matter what there will always be someone to tear you down. God made you just the way you are because you are special to Him just like that. Life comes in seasons… today may be hard, but tomorrow will be better.  Always, always, always, have faith in God. Pray. Have a relationship, not just when you need Him… but always- good and bad. God Loves You. 

You May Quote…#5

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Today’s quote is one from Dorothy Day and its a really good way to introduce a new feature I’d like to add to Mommy In Color. It’s going to be called Faithful Friday and it will be starting next Friday. Lately, I’ve been trying to reconnect with God and I feel like I need to share that experience with you. As always I’m going to speak honestly and from the heart. Some days I’ll give a full post and other’s will be a Scripture that moved me. I hope you enjoy it!

Old School Blogging: I am…

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If you want to join head on over to The Miss Elaineous Life and get in on the fun!

I am learning about God

I wonder what my mom would think of me now

I hear my brother’s obnoxiously loud t.v. Lemme go turn it down

I see my daughter’s worn unifor from today piled on my burnt out t.v. Yeah, I’m not a good housekeeping kind of girl

I want ARGO cornstarch. Its my favorite snack. Yes, I eat it right out of the stay fresh container…what’s your point? Oh, and this

I am just trying to figure out what Jennice is all about.

It’s Gonna Take A Miracle

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I very rarely talk about my love life on here mostly because I don’t have one. However, in  the spirit of solidarity among single mom who are dating, I am going to open up a little bit.

I recently ended a six year…situation with a man I am very much in love with. I can’t exactly say he was my boyfriend and he even describes us as close friends *side eye*. We didn’t spend as much time together as regular couples do and he only lives one borough away from me. We spoke to each other everyday via text, Facebook messenger, Yahoo messenger, or Tango video app.  When we did see each other we enjoyed it. He made me smile, he made me think, and he made me feel good. It was easy to be in love with him, I’ve known him all of my adult life and I consider him my best male friend.

Our issue was I always coming up with excuses not to meet up with him when he invited me out. The reason was because my mother did not approve of him. Whenever I tried to have a woman to woman grown up conversation about him to her, she’d roll her eyes, suck her teeth, or make some nasty and mean remark. Sometimes we argued about him and it would just end with me having my feelings hurt. Eventually, it just became easier for me to not ask her to babysit for me and I would going without seeing this man or months, and a even a year would pass by.

He stuck it out but I guess I got friend zoned…well, “special friend” zoned. When this year rolled around, I decided that this was the year that he and I would reconnect and be in love. So, I started appealing to my mom. I told her I was in love with him and he was “the One”. She gave up her crusade of not wanting me with him and said she would gladly babysit Bubba when I wanted her to as long as I gave a couple days notice. Me and “the One” spent Valentine’s Day Eve together, and that was it. Things got weird recently.

We had a conversation about where our relationship was headed and “the One” revealed to me that he wanted to wait five years to “get together” (not married) so that he could build his business. I let it go but it just kept gnawing at my brain. I’m 25(this was before my recent birthday) and he is 36. We’ve known each other for six years but he doesn’t want to marry me, he wants to “get together”. I asked him a couple of times if he was willing to compromise his time frame and he said no. The five year plan is fine for new couples but not us.

As I ask him more about what he wants, it is revealed to me that he isn’t sure if he wants to remarry and that he doesn’t want a girlfriend. Oh, ok. So what the f**k does that make me, bruh? I started having those feelings of doubt, humiliation, guilt, sadness…all the things you feel when you know a relationship is over.

A couple of days before my birthday, I realize that I need to refocus on getting myself together. I had to stop being so wrapped up in what our relationship is or isn’t because he wasn’t losing any sleep over it, so why should I anymore? I told “the One’ that we should no longer be in touch because I had to learn how to not have him in my life. Initially, I asked him if we could work on us,told him I was in love with him, but to no avail. He had started seeing someone else. When he told me, he then proceeded to act like we could have a regular conversation after a statement like that. I HATE having my feelings dismissed. It’s Pet Peeve #1.

Let me be perfectly clear, “the One” did stick through 6 years of nonsense between me and my mom that kept us apart. He didn’t have to stick it out, but he did so for that I guess he deserves some props.My issue with him now is that we don’t want the same things.In five years, he still may not want what I do he isn’t going to budge on his five year plan.I’m not saying he has to. But I want to be a wife in five years and now that I’m aware of his uncertainty, I owe it to myself to detach emotionally and wait on someone who does want what I want. Like the Deneice Williams’ song implies “Its gonna take a miracle to make me love someone new, cuz I’m crazy for you”. I wonder how long that miracle will take…five years,perhaps?.

Nine Ideas for When You Have a Broken Heart

Mommy and Me Mondays #1

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How many children do you have and what are their ages?

I have one little girl and she is seven going on 27…geez I sound like my mom

What is ONE song that reminds you of your child(ren)?

I have a bunch but since I have to pick one I choose <a title="Got To Be There by Michael Jackson". Take a listen and tell me it doesn't make you think of your own daughter

How would you define your style of parenting?

I’ve always been a go with the flow kind of gal and its no different with parenting. Bubba has a daily routine(except on weekends), but other than that, I play everything by ear.

Do you have a restaurant or favorite place that you will only go with your child(ren)?

I don’t know why I asked this question because all of my sacred places have been desecrated with firends’ birthdays and such but she always wants to go to Applebees. I love their bourbon blackand bleu burgers and she loves…ME!

What is one piece of advice you would give your child(ren) that can apply to their entire life?

It’s going to sound cheesy but it rings true at any point in life…Be yourself

IF YOU WANT TO BE FEATURED ON MOMMY & ME MONDAYS< SEND ME PICTURES OF YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONE(S) AND THE ANSWERS TO THE ABOVE FIVE QUESTIONS TO POWELLJENNICE@GMAIL.COM. SEE YOU SOON!