#JumpstartYourJournal Day 1- Identity

I am four days behind on this activity, so I’ll just start at day one and shout out to Tara of The Young Mommy Life for hosting this on her FB page, The  Renaissance Suite

Our Day 1 prompt of our #JumpstartYourJournal challenge is Identity. 
Who are you? How do you define yourself? Are you comfortable with who you are and where you are? What aspects of your personality/character are you working on? 
Spend 5-10 minutes reflecting on these questions and jot down your thoughts. 

I don’t know how I define myself. I know how I see myself as a person. To me,I am a sensitive free spirit who has more book smarts than I do street smarts. I don’t care for conflict but of provoked,my words can sting. I’m stubborn to a fault but I think it just adds to my charm!

I don’t like where I am in life.  It’s a million miles away from where I thought I’d be,even with the added hardships of having been a teen mom. I’m disappointed and ashamed every time I think about being on the bottom rung if the adulthood ladder. I’m sick and tired of being stagnant and I’m starting to make small changes.

Someone from my past recently told me that over the past 6 years that he’s known ne,my style had not changed. Those words were not the ones he used,but they made me go on the defensive.  I went on an Instagram rampage  about how “I don’t need to change” and “Physical appearance doesn’t mean anything to me. After calming down,this “blast from my past”and I had a follow up conversation.  He explained that he simply meant  that the growing up I have done as a person isnt reflected in my style. Simply put, I still look like a high school girl(complete with glasses and braces). I asked other friends how they felt about my look,they told me their honest opinions(which stung a little), and went on to explain that they hadnt said anything because they thought they would offend me and they know how defensive I can get. I said all that to point out that I’m working on my defensiveness and my dismissive attitude when I think someone is being mean to me or not accepting of me.

And although I’m saying all these good things, I’m still peeved about the critiques I got. They shouldn’t bother me,they should be taken as advice and not critiques,but…IT’S.KILLING.ME. TO. NOT. BE.DEFENSIVE. Eh,baby steps right?

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