Author Archives: mommyincolor

About mommyincolor

I'm a 20-something single mother to an "old soul" I affectionately call Bubba. We reside in The Big Apple and I'm learning how to take a bite of it everyday!

Let’s Talk About Sex(Briefly)

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Let’s Talk About Sex(Briefly)

It has come to my attention that although we mom bloggers are expected to be honest about our lives, we are still viewed as non sexual in some respects. I was talking to a friend and she alerted me that she could see a tweet of mine discussing a sex act in detail. To myself I’m like “So what? I’m grown and so aremy followers. She then explained to me how readers view mom bloggers and moms in general.I’m like ” I have two kids, it should be obvious that I have sex”. But, in case it isn’t…I HAVE SEX. Here’s an even bigger news break: I ENJOY SEX.

Now, I know that statement is contradictory to my Christian beliefs but I’m not a hypocrite. I believe that we were created to be sexual for procreation but not solely for procreation. If that were the case, why do we get satisfaction from having sex? Why not just have sex be a thing we do to make babies with no emotional stuff attached? Sure, Im having sex without the benefit of marriage and sure it’s a sin. But I feel like Christians take it to the extreme when criticizing what is in our nature to do. If children are a blessing, then why try to shame the way in which the blessing was delivered.

This is not a discussion about religion, by the way. This is just me talking about myself as a sexual being. For you out there who just see a book nerd single pious mom, I’m far from that. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

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ARC Book Challenge

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ARC Book Challenge

Hey, bookworms!!! Even though the 24in48 Readathon is over, my zest for reading has returned. So lucky for me, Net Galley has another book challenge! From July 22nd through August 30th, every week on Instagram, readers are being called to get through that very large ARC pile they have. I am new to Net Galley and I went over board asking for ARC. In the 24in48 Readathon I finished one book and so far for this challenge I have finished another. It’s been hard getting reading done with Avery around. But now that he is more settled into a nap routine, I know when I can get some reading done. It’s awkward holding a sleeping baby and a physical book, so using my Kindle app has been a game changer.

So the books I started with are

1) Maternal Instinct by Rebecca Bowyer

2) My Wild and Precious Life by Susie Rheault

3) The Watanabe Name by Sakura Nobeyama

4) A Death in Harlem by Karla Holloway

A Death in Harlem is a roll over read that I started from 24in48 and I’m half way through it and I really like it. I have reviewed Before We Were Wicked by Eric Jerome Dickey and Mother of Pearl by Angela Savage. Although, I did post it my reviews on Net Galley, it is linked to me on Goodreads. If you are not joining Net Galley Reviewathon, what book challenges are you involved in? Drop your links to book challenges in the comments.

By the way, I have 200 followers!! I never thought I would get to this point and I’m honored that you guys care what I have to say. Thanks for the advice, the laughs and the thought provoking conversation. Here’s to 200 more new friends!!!

The 24in48 Readathon

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Hey there, bookworms!!! Its a SUPER hot weekend here in NYC (temps at 100) so it’s a perfect excuse to read. Thank goodness for the 24in48 Readathon. What is that, you ask? Well, for the 48 hours in the weekend readers have 24 hours to read as many books as possible. The ultimate goal is 24 hours but at the heart of this challenQge is to get you through thst loooong TBR lost. Head to 24in48 for details. Oh yeah, and there are prizes as you hit hours.Lots of encouragement by other book obsessed folk too.

Anyway, if you follow me on Instagram, then you saw the to start me off. They are compliments of Net Galley. You see, I’m new to Net Galley and I MAY have gone a little crazy requesting books. Then the Readathon came up and it was a perfect way to knock some of these puppies out. So,let me update you a little. I started the challenge with:

I haven’t read enough of it to make a judgement but so far there’s a wife moves into the large family home where her husband’s and grandma live. She finds it difficult to make herself st home at parent her two children without nosy grandparents to make it harder. She starts digging into her husband’s lineage and comes up with some MESS,chile. Sadly, I’ve only read about 3% of the book, but so far so good.

This book I consider a bit of a cheat because I was 78% into it. Also, I chose to finish it today and threw it on my list this morning. Its3by a long time favorite author of mine,Eric Jerome Dickey. I’ve talked about him incessantly since I started sharing my reading life a few years ago. This novel is a part 2 but I didnt know that until I did a little research. It’s a prequel so you can read it as a stand alon. I really enjoy Dickey’s take on Black life in America. In this one,he gives the experience of a couple: Ken and Jimi Lee. Jimi Lee is an Ethiopian college student from a well to do family that lives in the Diamond Bar district of California. Ken is an enforcer/kinda college student born and raised here in the U.S. to poor parents. They try to have a casual Summer fling but Jimi Lee winds up pregnant. Ken does his best to support her financially but Jimi Lee just wants too damn much…ugh. I have to admit, J really enjoy how Dickey writes sex scenes. They’re raunchy,sure, but the words he chooses to describe them classes it up a bit. This was everything I expected from Dickey and reaffirm my stanning.

I chose this book because again its one of my gazillion Net Galley reads. Also, I spent a lot of time hanging out in Harlem as a child. My mom loved spending her money on the predominantly Black owned businesses and there was a rawness about I just loved. This novel takes us back to the 1920s where a NYC precinct hires it first African American police officer. His first assignment is the death of a white woman in Harlem. You see where this is going? Good. I really enjoy reading or watching stories about Harlem during that Renaissance time. Sure, this book is a few years before,but the vibe is there.

Last but certainly not least is a book I chose for the cover. There was a melancholy feel I got from it and I was drawn to it so…

I actually don’t remember what it’s about so here’s what Net Galley describes it as:

A Kitchen in the Corner of the House collects twenty-five gem-like stories on motherhood, sexuality, and the body from the innovative and perceptive Tamil writer Ambai.

There are my picks for the 24in48 Readathon. If you are participating, let me know what you’re reading. Drop your links to blog posts or IG posts. Good luck,everyone!!!

Top Ten Tuesday: Which authors are auto-buy authors for you?

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Top Ten Tuesday: Which authors are auto-buy authors for you?

I just found this book blogger linky from That Artsy Reader Girl literally this morning. I am an avid reader(check out my bookstagram)but since having children, my reading life has slowed tremendously. Thanks to this link up, I’ve been revisiting old favorites and uts been working to get me ready for the #24in48 Readathon this weekend) I LOVE talking about my favorite authors and I hope your faves are on my list:

1) Anne Rice: Anytime I get a chance to praise Mrs.Rice, I take it! I started reading her work when I was 15 and got a brand new library card. I think I went looking for Stephen King and the cover of an edition of The Witching Hour stole my eye. I love a big book and this was beautiful! I was hooked after that book and The Mayfair Witches Chronicles is my favorite series by Rice. The Witching Hour is part one, Lasher is part two,and Taltos is part three. If you like gothic horror, start here.

2. Eric Jerome Dickey is another author I discovered right around the time I found Rice. I was a teenaged Blsck girl nerd growing up in NYC and his way of depicting the Black experience, even in a fictional way, was very relatable. The first book I read by him was Friends and Lovers. My favorite Dickey book I discovered as an adult, The Miseducation of Nia Simone Bijou. It was about a young black woman’s sexual awakening and I loved it. It wasn’t porn and it wasn’t tawdry,which I found respectful. Currently reading Before We Were Wicked, the 2nd in a series(this title being a prequel).

3. I don’t remember the name of the first book I read by Alice Hoffman, but I remember I found it at the library. My mother had just recently passed away and it was my first trip to the library to improve my mood. I took it home because my mother’s name is also Alice and she too was a voracious reader. I figured this was a book rec from her from beyond. Thanks to Net Galley, I’m fortunate enough to be reading The World That We Knew,which has a wonderful supernatural spin common to Hoffman’s work.

4. I haven’t read a Mary Monroe book since I was around 18. I love her tales of black Southern families from back in the day. However alot of the issues discussed in these novels can be triggering such as child molestation and abuse, kidnapping,and drug use. They often end sort of happy and you may be emotionally drained afterwards but the writing is soo good. I relate to these books Ive heard many stories of my own Southern family history and Monroe’s stories are eerily similar to theirs. I think they could be described as black Southern gothic novels. If that’s a thing. My favorite read by Monroe is her God Don’t Like Ugly series which follows two best friends throughout their friendship and the secrets they’ve kept for from one another.

5. I read alot of books that deal with family drama and sometimes it does take an emotional toll on me. So for comic relief,I turn to one of two humor faves: Samantha Irby. First of all, I will FOREVER stan for Irby because her book We are Never Meeting In Real Life stole my heart with its yellow back drop to stressed out looking kitten on the cover. Samantha is soooo funny you guys. The first chapter alone when she is filing out a Bachelorette application will keave you in stitches. I believe WANMIRL was her 2nd bestseller with her first one being Meaty. Anything she writes from this day forward, I’m buying.

6. I first discovered Jenny Lawson through her blog, The Bloggess. I admired the way she approached her mental health issues. She asks ridiculous but real questions about the mundane. She has a weird thing for taxidermy and she grew up witha pack of wild birds. All of these delightful but strange stories are in her book Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. There is even a story about the taxidermied mouse featured on the cover. How can you go wrong? Did I mention she has also penned an adult coloring book featuring her own art?

7. Christina Henry is popular for her retellings. Although I was unable to finish it, The Red Queen was definitely my kind of retelling: dark. I read it 2 Halloweens ago and I plan to read it this Halloween as well as the first book in the series, Alice. I do believe is mentioned in both books so do be mindful of that.

8.Stephen King because…well, its Stephen King! Favorite read by King is definitely The Stand and Im currently working my way (slowly) through 11/22/63

9. I found a healthy sized book by Ken Follett while grocery shopping in Cosco. For those who don’t know, Cosco does have books. In my neighborhood, they’re piled up all willy nilly on tables so be warned. Rummaging through the endless amiunts of books, I found one of the books in his Century trilogy. I own 2 of the books but have read all three(out of order,which I don’t advise). This series is historical fiction and is responsible for my love of family saga historical fiction. Just recently, I finished The Island by Victoria Hislop, In The Name of Salomé by Julia Alvarez and The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver. I do think it sort of slows down in all three parts but its worth it for the sweet ending.

10.Last but certainly not least is also an author who write historical stories as well. They are true stories based on research done by the author with pictures in the one I read, The Sweet Hell Inside which touches on colorism,classism, racism,and entrepreneurship in a family during pre and post slavery days. Ive read nothing else by the author although I did enjoy his work, but according to Goodreads, he has 21published works.

Alright fellow book nerds, that’s it for this week’ s TTT. Let’s talk books! Find all my bookish stuff on Goodreads Litsy, and my IG.

Make sure you head over to the original blog hosting the link up but I’d love to see you’re favorite authors too, so drop me your post links in the comments. Happy reading!

Time Flies..

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Time Flies..

This is a writing prompt, compliments of Mama Kat’s Losin’ It. Make sure you check out her other writing prompts and link up your posts Thursday.
1. Throwback Thursday: Choose a photo from a previous June and write a poem or a blog post.

Time Flies…

In those brown eyes

Time Flies…

Running into my arms when she cries

Time Flies..

Throwing away the baby dolls her grandmother buys

Time Flies…

I remember her non stop questions, all the who’s? What’s? Why’s?

Time Flies…

Your becoming a teen soon, with your tiny white lies

Time Flies….

You’ve gotten quite bright, like the orange wings of monarch butterflies

Time Flies…

Sex and the Single Me

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Sex and the Single Me

I needs me a man! Things with Avery’s father fell apart fairly quickly after I became pregnant. We weren’t in a traditional relationship to begin with so I was not surprised when after I told him Avery was coming, he quickly exited the picture.

I was kind of bitter about the way thongs ended and even went into a mini man hating phase. Then my libido kicked back in. I had my first sexual experience 3 months after Avery was born. It was a casual thing with someone I know. There were no real feelings attached,it was just sex and we went back to our regular friendship.

I’m not good at picking men. I never have been and I’m not sure when or if I’ll be ready for a serious committed relationship. I think I want to be a wife but I’m not sure because I’ve never imagined myself as one. I knew I was going to be a mom and its what I wanted but wife just seems a little murky to me.

I don’t have any examples of healthy relationships in my family except for my brother. My biological mother was married at 17 to the love of her life but when drugs came into the picture, her marriage was ruined. She pined for that man until she passed away. It was sad to watch her go through that. My adopted was with a great guy and they also got married. But a week or two later, she kicked him out after realizing she sidnt want to be a wife. I loved her husband and was looking forward to him being my dad. So that hurt me that things didn’t work out. This is cliche, but I’m scared of commitment and getting my heart broken.

With the things going on in my life right now, I don’t have the attention to dedicate to a serious relationship. However, I enjoy being with someone but also like being left alone. I think I will date casually for awhile. My definition of casual is we go to the movies or dinner, we are intimate, we talk or text occasionally, and we have our lives. None of these casual acquaintances will be introduced to my kids because it’s inappropriate in my opinion.

I don’t feel any pressure to get down the aisle because I’m 30 or whatever nor do I feel pressure to marry because my kids should have a father. These sre reasons other people have given me for why I should be ready to marry. I DO feel pressure to find happiness for myself in whatever way I can and I’m not apologizing for that.

#MICSummer2019

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#MICSummer2019

Hey,everyone! I’m not one to celebrate our national holidays too much but I do like to find new and fun things for me and the kids to do in the Summer. There is no shortage of places to go,thongs to do,and people to see when you live in the BEST city: New York. Thanks to Mommy Poppins I know where,when,and how much events will be. My only job is to pack up the diaper bag. I am finding that my kids are at different stages of development so they like different things. Here are some events I will be attending for both of them. If you follow me on IG, I will be updating my feed with pictures of me and the kids enjoying our Summer.

1. Baby Story Time: This is a free event that runs every Tuesday at 10:30am. It’s for babies from birth to 18 months old. There’s music,rhymes,and music. It’s hosted at Aguilar Library. Limit 15 children w/caregiver. Check New York Public Library for more free events throughout all the libraries.

2. Throughout NYC parks there will be Movies Under The Stars. This past week Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse was shown. June 6th there will be a showing of Hotel Transylvania 3 and My Little Pony. The event starts at 7pm and is free. Check New York City Parks Department for movies and locations.

3.For the comic book lover in your family, on Wednesday July 10th at 12pm, Midtown Comics is hosting best-selling author Kami Garcia (Beautiful Creatures) and fan-favorite artist Gabriel Picolol. They come together with Meg Cabot (The Princess Diaries) and fellow DC author Danielle Paige to discuss reimagining superheroes and writing graphic novels, as well as sign copies of current and previous books for fans. This is going to be great for Amani because she has decided if professional wrestling doesn’t work out, she would like to be a graphic novel artist.

4. Bastille Day on East 60th Street-

Celebrate France’s national holiday at this annual street fair. Featuring French cuisine, music, dance, and myriad attractions for the whole family, this three-block fête populaire invites New Yorkers to revel in the flavors, sounds, and joie de vivre of France.

2019’s line-up includes talented performers making their Bastille Day debut on the main stage. Chow down on French delicacies like crêpes, éclairs, macarons, and more at booths along 60th street. Savor a great selection of wines, cheeses, beers, and cocktails at tastings at FIAF. And check out the kid-friendly activities, including arts and crafts, face painting, and mime.

This makes a great day trip because street fairs usually having something to please children of all ages so I’m covered there. Avery’s pediatrician wants me to allow him to try different kinds of food so it will be fun to see how he adjust to international cuisine. I think you will have to set a budget for this trip because I believe the food and activities have fees. Contact French Institute Alliance for further details.

NYC Mamas, I would love to know what you are doing with your babies this Summer. On Instagram, use the hashtag #MICSummer2019 and in September I will feature the best picture and send you a prize. Remember, no matter what you do, have fun with your children and make memories. Happy Summer!

MommyinColorCooks: Double Whammy- Crockpot Chicken Salad& Lava Cake

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MommyinColorCooks: Double Whammy- Crockpot Chicken Salad& Lava Cake

Happy unofficial Summer,everyone! I have a quick lunch option. All you need is:

3 chicken breast

1 cup and a half of water

chopped celery

chopped onion

1 cup of mayonnaise

All you do is cover the chicken breasts with the cup and a half of water.

Next, place on LOW for 4-6 hours. Then, shred chicken and after that add the celery,onion,salt,pepper,and mayonnaise.

Lastly, serve as you want.

*NOTES* I like ALOT of mayo in my chicken salad so a cup was definitely not enough. I added salt and pepper to the chicken breast before cooking but after it was done, I didn’t taste any of it. I added more after it was done and got a better taste. Recipe compliments of Repeat Crafter Me

Let’s move on to dessert. This is only the 2nd dessert I’m doing in Lucille and it was a hit. Recipe compliments of The Magical Slow Cooker

I had a craving for lava cake but didnt feel like going to Applebees to get it so Pinterest it was.

All you need is a package of semi sweet chocolate drops, a box of fudge cake mix, 2 boxes of instant chocolate pudding mix,and 1 cup and quarter of coffee 2 cups of milk.

1)Mix the cups of milk with the pudding mix and sit to the side for a minute

2)Add three eggs and half a cup of oil to the cake mix. Once it’s mixed all together add the coffee little by little.

3)After spraying the crockpot with nonstick spray pour the cake mix into bottom. Add pudding mix in dollop form on top of that then spread chocolate pieces over that.

Dollops of pudding on top of cake batter

Cake batter/coffee mix

4)Set to HIGH for 3 hours. Enjoy!

I added peanut butter pieces to the chocolate ones because I really wanted that combo

Finished Product

*NOTES*

I served with a side of ice cream. I may have overdone it because the texture of the “lava” turned really gummy.

It was still really good. Recipe compliments of The Magical Slow Cooker.Let me know if you try these or have tried them. Check out the other recipes I have pinned on my Pinterest board, Crock Pot Recipes. Enjoy your weekend!

Thoughts on 30

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I’m 30 years old now. I still can’t believe that. When you have what’s called a milestone birthday,it really makes you think. I let the Devil get in my head and tell me I was a failure at life. He played bsck to me the lives of those around me and pointrd out how I falk shorrt of that. I fell for it hook,line,and sinker instead of focusing on the good things. I’m alive,I have a home, I eat every day, my kids are healthy,I have no majot health issues. Thank you God for those blessings.

I do feel unfulfilled in my life, though. I don’t have money, a job, and cam BARELY feed my family. Plus, my mom is very sick and won’t seek medical treatment. She’s having kidney failure qnd heart problems and I think she’s given up fighting for her life. That troubles me more than anything. I’ve tried talking to her about going but all I get is the brush off. That makes me angry because I feel like her giving up is selfish.But maybe she’s scared because she knows it’s bad and it may be too late. If that is the case, I would rather face it head on than do nothing. I jave prayed yhat the Lord will move her to take care of herself but it’s out of my hands, isn’t it? Since that’s the case I have to focus on getting my own life together. I called my aunt to clme over and see if she can talk some sense into her. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just pray that Mom reconciles herself to God before it’s too late.

My prayers lately have been for God to show me what my next steps should be in order to get my life together. He seems to be pointing me in the direction of crochet. I wanted tp3 sell some of it last year but had to deal with issues with my pregnancy. But this time, He seems to be revealing the plan to me in small achievable steps. He’s an awesome God because while I’m crocheting,my mind and hands are busy,not idle.

Mind you, I don’t know the first thing about being in a self made business. But God will show me because HE is my business partner. There is a podcast, B. Hooked, that I listen to about crochet that has skme episodes about being a business. I can start there. I have a few sample stitches Ive done and I can post them for people to see. Last night, before I went to bed I got a message from the Lord to make a unisex baby blanket. I have the right yarn for it and I’ll just read a pattern. This plan CAN work.

I posted on social media that I aas moving in silence and right away one of my friends called me a dumb ass and another tried to guilt me into telling her. I told them that I’ll revealed everything when the time is right. I don’t know how they’ll feel about that but I’m not worried about it. I’m exercising my right to be quiet. If they are my friends,they’ll understand. If not,may the Lord remove them from my journey. I feel a little lighter already about things and I have to keep my focus on the Lord.

Spring

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Spring

It seems the Winter has finally lifted its foot off my little neck of the woods. Though the temperature is still a but touchy, it feels good to look forward to the sun blinding me with a cool,not cold, breeze on my back. I’m also looking forward to bringing Avery outside more. I have been itching to show the entire neighborhood the cause for my tired eyes and reflective smile.

But its not all sunshine and rainbows despite the rising temperatures. I dont know what to do with myself. Ive been going back in forth in my mind about whether I want to go back to work outside the house or make a real go of working from home. Both options scare me but for different reasons. Going back to work outside is fine but my mom would watch the children and her health is not the best. Daycare is not an option because I just don’t trust people. I have a friend who could maybe help me out but she has 7 children of her own.

On the flip side, I could make a go of being a work at home mom. I have affiliate links on here and I could stary reaching out to brands to work with. I have people in my online community who could help me figure out how to approach brands,come up wit a media kit,etc. The down side to that is I probably won’t be making much to start off with. However, my ideal situation is to work from home so I can take care of the kids and look after my mom.

I am really confused as to what my next steps are going to be. I know I need an income as soon as possible and I need to be proactive in making things happen. But while I’m praying and waiting on the Lord to order my steps, I’m going to enjoy this time of renewal,fresh starts, and beautiful tulips. Maybe the answer will reveal itself in the nature around me,who knows?