Category Archives: Uncategorized

Let’s Talk About Sex(Briefly)

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Let’s Talk About Sex(Briefly)

It has come to my attention that although we mom bloggers are expected to be honest about our lives, we are still viewed as non sexual in some respects. I was talking to a friend and she alerted me that she could see a tweet of mine discussing a sex act in detail. To myself I’m like “So what? I’m grown and so aremy followers. She then explained to me how readers view mom bloggers and moms in general.I’m like ” I have two kids, it should be obvious that I have sex”. But, in case it isn’t…I HAVE SEX. Here’s an even bigger news break: I ENJOY SEX.

Now, I know that statement is contradictory to my Christian beliefs but I’m not a hypocrite. I believe that we were created to be sexual for procreation but not solely for procreation. If that were the case, why do we get satisfaction from having sex? Why not just have sex be a thing we do to make babies with no emotional stuff attached? Sure, Im having sex without the benefit of marriage and sure it’s a sin. But I feel like Christians take it to the extreme when criticizing what is in our nature to do. If children are a blessing, then why try to shame the way in which the blessing was delivered.

This is not a discussion about religion, by the way. This is just me talking about myself as a sexual being. For you out there who just see a book nerd single pious mom, I’m far from that. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

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Time Flies..

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Time Flies..

This is a writing prompt, compliments of Mama Kat’s Losin’ It. Make sure you check out her other writing prompts and link up your posts Thursday.
1. Throwback Thursday: Choose a photo from a previous June and write a poem or a blog post.

Time Flies…

In those brown eyes

Time Flies…

Running into my arms when she cries

Time Flies..

Throwing away the baby dolls her grandmother buys

Time Flies…

I remember her non stop questions, all the who’s? What’s? Why’s?

Time Flies…

Your becoming a teen soon, with your tiny white lies

Time Flies….

You’ve gotten quite bright, like the orange wings of monarch butterflies

Time Flies…

Sex and the Single Me

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Sex and the Single Me

I needs me a man! Things with Avery’s father fell apart fairly quickly after I became pregnant. We weren’t in a traditional relationship to begin with so I was not surprised when after I told him Avery was coming, he quickly exited the picture.

I was kind of bitter about the way thongs ended and even went into a mini man hating phase. Then my libido kicked back in. I had my first sexual experience 3 months after Avery was born. It was a casual thing with someone I know. There were no real feelings attached,it was just sex and we went back to our regular friendship.

I’m not good at picking men. I never have been and I’m not sure when or if I’ll be ready for a serious committed relationship. I think I want to be a wife but I’m not sure because I’ve never imagined myself as one. I knew I was going to be a mom and its what I wanted but wife just seems a little murky to me.

I don’t have any examples of healthy relationships in my family except for my brother. My biological mother was married at 17 to the love of her life but when drugs came into the picture, her marriage was ruined. She pined for that man until she passed away. It was sad to watch her go through that. My adopted was with a great guy and they also got married. But a week or two later, she kicked him out after realizing she sidnt want to be a wife. I loved her husband and was looking forward to him being my dad. So that hurt me that things didn’t work out. This is cliche, but I’m scared of commitment and getting my heart broken.

With the things going on in my life right now, I don’t have the attention to dedicate to a serious relationship. However, I enjoy being with someone but also like being left alone. I think I will date casually for awhile. My definition of casual is we go to the movies or dinner, we are intimate, we talk or text occasionally, and we have our lives. None of these casual acquaintances will be introduced to my kids because it’s inappropriate in my opinion.

I don’t feel any pressure to get down the aisle because I’m 30 or whatever nor do I feel pressure to marry because my kids should have a father. These sre reasons other people have given me for why I should be ready to marry. I DO feel pressure to find happiness for myself in whatever way I can and I’m not apologizing for that.

#MICSummer2019

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#MICSummer2019

Hey,everyone! I’m not one to celebrate our national holidays too much but I do like to find new and fun things for me and the kids to do in the Summer. There is no shortage of places to go,thongs to do,and people to see when you live in the BEST city: New York. Thanks to Mommy Poppins I know where,when,and how much events will be. My only job is to pack up the diaper bag. I am finding that my kids are at different stages of development so they like different things. Here are some events I will be attending for both of them. If you follow me on IG, I will be updating my feed with pictures of me and the kids enjoying our Summer.

1. Baby Story Time: This is a free event that runs every Tuesday at 10:30am. It’s for babies from birth to 18 months old. There’s music,rhymes,and music. It’s hosted at Aguilar Library. Limit 15 children w/caregiver. Check New York Public Library for more free events throughout all the libraries.

2. Throughout NYC parks there will be Movies Under The Stars. This past week Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse was shown. June 6th there will be a showing of Hotel Transylvania 3 and My Little Pony. The event starts at 7pm and is free. Check New York City Parks Department for movies and locations.

3.For the comic book lover in your family, on Wednesday July 10th at 12pm, Midtown Comics is hosting best-selling author Kami Garcia (Beautiful Creatures) and fan-favorite artist Gabriel Picolol. They come together with Meg Cabot (The Princess Diaries) and fellow DC author Danielle Paige to discuss reimagining superheroes and writing graphic novels, as well as sign copies of current and previous books for fans. This is going to be great for Amani because she has decided if professional wrestling doesn’t work out, she would like to be a graphic novel artist.

4. Bastille Day on East 60th Street-

Celebrate France’s national holiday at this annual street fair. Featuring French cuisine, music, dance, and myriad attractions for the whole family, this three-block fête populaire invites New Yorkers to revel in the flavors, sounds, and joie de vivre of France.

2019’s line-up includes talented performers making their Bastille Day debut on the main stage. Chow down on French delicacies like crêpes, éclairs, macarons, and more at booths along 60th street. Savor a great selection of wines, cheeses, beers, and cocktails at tastings at FIAF. And check out the kid-friendly activities, including arts and crafts, face painting, and mime.

This makes a great day trip because street fairs usually having something to please children of all ages so I’m covered there. Avery’s pediatrician wants me to allow him to try different kinds of food so it will be fun to see how he adjust to international cuisine. I think you will have to set a budget for this trip because I believe the food and activities have fees. Contact French Institute Alliance for further details.

NYC Mamas, I would love to know what you are doing with your babies this Summer. On Instagram, use the hashtag #MICSummer2019 and in September I will feature the best picture and send you a prize. Remember, no matter what you do, have fun with your children and make memories. Happy Summer!

MommyinColorCooks: Double Whammy- Crockpot Chicken Salad& Lava Cake

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MommyinColorCooks: Double Whammy- Crockpot Chicken Salad& Lava Cake

Happy unofficial Summer,everyone! I have a quick lunch option. All you need is:

3 chicken breast

1 cup and a half of water

chopped celery

chopped onion

1 cup of mayonnaise

All you do is cover the chicken breasts with the cup and a half of water.

Next, place on LOW for 4-6 hours. Then, shred chicken and after that add the celery,onion,salt,pepper,and mayonnaise.

Lastly, serve as you want.

*NOTES* I like ALOT of mayo in my chicken salad so a cup was definitely not enough. I added salt and pepper to the chicken breast before cooking but after it was done, I didn’t taste any of it. I added more after it was done and got a better taste. Recipe compliments of Repeat Crafter Me

Let’s move on to dessert. This is only the 2nd dessert I’m doing in Lucille and it was a hit. Recipe compliments of The Magical Slow Cooker

I had a craving for lava cake but didnt feel like going to Applebees to get it so Pinterest it was.

All you need is a package of semi sweet chocolate drops, a box of fudge cake mix, 2 boxes of instant chocolate pudding mix,and 1 cup and quarter of coffee 2 cups of milk.

1)Mix the cups of milk with the pudding mix and sit to the side for a minute

2)Add three eggs and half a cup of oil to the cake mix. Once it’s mixed all together add the coffee little by little.

3)After spraying the crockpot with nonstick spray pour the cake mix into bottom. Add pudding mix in dollop form on top of that then spread chocolate pieces over that.

Dollops of pudding on top of cake batter

Cake batter/coffee mix

4)Set to HIGH for 3 hours. Enjoy!

I added peanut butter pieces to the chocolate ones because I really wanted that combo

Finished Product

*NOTES*

I served with a side of ice cream. I may have overdone it because the texture of the “lava” turned really gummy.

It was still really good. Recipe compliments of The Magical Slow Cooker.Let me know if you try these or have tried them. Check out the other recipes I have pinned on my Pinterest board, Crock Pot Recipes. Enjoy your weekend!

Spring

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Spring

It seems the Winter has finally lifted its foot off my little neck of the woods. Though the temperature is still a but touchy, it feels good to look forward to the sun blinding me with a cool,not cold, breeze on my back. I’m also looking forward to bringing Avery outside more. I have been itching to show the entire neighborhood the cause for my tired eyes and reflective smile.

But its not all sunshine and rainbows despite the rising temperatures. I dont know what to do with myself. Ive been going back in forth in my mind about whether I want to go back to work outside the house or make a real go of working from home. Both options scare me but for different reasons. Going back to work outside is fine but my mom would watch the children and her health is not the best. Daycare is not an option because I just don’t trust people. I have a friend who could maybe help me out but she has 7 children of her own.

On the flip side, I could make a go of being a work at home mom. I have affiliate links on here and I could stary reaching out to brands to work with. I have people in my online community who could help me figure out how to approach brands,come up wit a media kit,etc. The down side to that is I probably won’t be making much to start off with. However, my ideal situation is to work from home so I can take care of the kids and look after my mom.

I am really confused as to what my next steps are going to be. I know I need an income as soon as possible and I need to be proactive in making things happen. But while I’m praying and waiting on the Lord to order my steps, I’m going to enjoy this time of renewal,fresh starts, and beautiful tulips. Maybe the answer will reveal itself in the nature around me,who knows?

Life Redux

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It’s been a heck of a month y’all!!! Life sure has been different since 2019 hit. Even though Avery arrived a few weeks before the new year, the change until a fresh start really helped my family settle into welcoming a new member. Okay this is the part where I gush all over him. If that’s not for you, leave now. I’m kidding, I.NEED.ADULT.COMPANY.

Avery, weeks 1-5

I took on quite a few brand goals for myself. If I want to be tween serious and do this for real,I have to start thinking of myself as a brand. I’m a PeriGirl and we have a broadcasting/live streaming challenge called #JanuWantIt where we go live everyday through the month of January. I’ve fused that with doing social media prompts(#MDGBIZBOOST)created by my Peri sister, Michelle D. Garrett. I use her prompts as topics for my broadcasts. Two birds, one stone.

I have a Periscope goal if getting to one million hearts,I’ve restarted my book review series, The First 100. Its a mini review of whatever book I’m currently reading. It will air Mondays at 10a.m. EST. There is also a new series, also on Periscope, called Oh, Baby! Every 5th of the month for the next year I will be doing updates on Avery’s development. I will have him as a cohost so if you’re into cute babies, join us on February 5th at 10 a.m. EST

Lastly this space is back with new content every Saturday. I’m pursuing some coin with blogging so I’m doing Amazon Affiliates. I finally figured out how to add the links just this past week so I’ve been updating older posts that I’m going to be sharing with you via Twitter.

With all these goals, I have to admit it’s not so easy with the addition of Pops. As soon as I sit down to take a half a breath, he is screeching at the top of his lungs for attention. It’s like he knows I need to do other things. I drag myself to the bathroom,Pops in tow because leaving him alone for a half a second causes meltdowns. At 3 a.m. you can literally find me peeing with a screechy newborn in my arms. Don’t get me wrong, I have the luxury of having my mom right across the hallway to pitch in and help whenever I need. However, I miss being able to roam around my neighborhood while Amani is in school during the week. Or not roam around and sleep until noon. Those days are gone and sometimes I feel pulled in many different directions trying to be a mom to a preteen,a mom to a newborn,and a novice entrepreneur. What the heck am I thinking?!

But I do kind of thrive on the constant busyness. It feels good to know that I’m tired at night because I’m working towards a better future for me and the kids.

Recap: Quarter 3 Goals Twitter Chat

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All over my Twitter feed, Facebook timeline,and even on Instagram everyone is talking about their Quarter 3 Goals. I decided to join a Twitter chat to get some tips on keeping the momentum going for my own goals. So, I found Create Lounge on Twitter (#createlounge) . It’s a weekly chat for creatives hosted by Douglas Humphries (@Douglas_AmongUs) every Wednesday at 9pm EST. Six questions are asked and Douglas gives some really good tips for you to implement. Take a look:

Question 1: What is your theme for this quarter? It could be a word,a mantra,a direction. Whatever you want to define the next season.

Tip: It can be very inspiring to have a theme or word to set your intention,but it can also be anxiety producing to find just the right one. Don’t stress. Go with what feels good.

As always, the biggest thing to remember is that it’s probably going to change. That’s just life. We plan and then have to let it all unfold before us. This is just step one.

Q2: What’s a business goal you have that you want to complete in Quarter 3?

Tip: It’s easy to want to plan out our whole quarter,or year,and,hey, if you can do that,awesome! But don’t feel like you have to. Some things you just don’t know yet. Again,step 1.

That’s why it’s important to keep our intentions,our CDF’s, our why,in front of us. Once we set our intention then we’ll have the direction we need when we have to make that choice we don’t know about yet.

Q3: What’s a personal goal you have or another way you’d like to expand  serious this season?

 

Tip: Remember, goals don’t all have to be business/serious. Creativity is our whole lives, that means what we do for others, for our business/projects,and what we do just for us.

Time management, as always, is an important skill and one we will continue to need. But that means not only making time for our business but for what really matters as well.

Q4: What’s a short term goal you have,say for this month, or even this week?

Tip: Keep in mind, the best way to hit our long term goals is split them up into workable short term steps. Even the smallest goal can lead us to that big dreamt horizon.

Q5: What’s something you could really use this quarter? What’s a way we can help you accomplish your goals?

Tip: Community is the biggest tool we have. It can not only provide encouragement and accountability but inspiration.  When we create together,we foster creativity in each other and ourselves.

Q6: What’s one thing you’d like to end 2018 with that you didn’t start with?

Tip: Dream big people! The more incredible, the better. You wouldn’t believe where you are now a year ago(or even last quarter) why should it be impossible to be where you want to be a year from now?

Great tips,right?! I encourage you all to answer these questions for yourselves and see where you bare in your 2018 goals. I know I definitely have some reconfiguring to do. Join the #createlounge chat Wednesday s at 9pm EST. I will be there!

Musings on the Age Gap Between My Children

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Last week, my friend and I took the kids to the park. They hadn’t seen each other since school ended 3 weeks ago and I wanted to talk to an adult other than my mom. It was a nice little time despite a couple of get aways and meltdowns by her youngest son, who I adore!

As we were heading out of the park,my friend starts telling me what a difficult time I’m going to have with Amani once Avery comes. I say to her that Amani understands that Avery will require more of my time because he can’t do anything on his own. My friend says” You spoil her with your affection and after the baby,you will be so exhausted from caring for Avery you wont be kissing on her so much. Plus,she is hitting those puberty years and there will be way more attitude from her. Girl, I know what I’m talking about,I have 7 children”

My friend does have seven kids ranging from 2 years old to 20 years old. Which means there are a few age gaps between her oldest ones(17 and 20) and her youngest ones (4 and 2). I thought about how much extra affection I have been showing Amani since telling her about Avery’s arrival. I waa doing that because I want to constantly remind her that she is my firstborn,she holds a special place in my heart,and that I will love her the same no matter how many more children I have. It really broke my heart to consider that she would ever think I don’t live her as much because I have other babies. Im sure my friend was simply trying to prepare me for the reality of the dynamic between Amani and Avery but she just made me scared and sad.

Amani and I have discussed what a healthy sibling relationship is and she has witnessed it between myself and my youngest brother,who is 20 years old. My friend’s comment made me recall qhen I initially told Amani I was pregnant, she waa very upset and cried. It took me some time to convince her that this was a blessing. She is excited now and enjoys hearinf how Avery is developing month by month. She is also looking forward to the gender reveal at the end of the month.

I’m appealing to you,dear readers with more than one child and significant age gaps between children, how do you handle the gap and keep your relationships with the older children healthy? How do you remind your firstborn that they are still important to you?

When I Create With Passionate Loving Action,I Notice…

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My words come with a quickening. O don’t have to think about what I want to say, I just say it. I hate days when I want to write but don’t know what to say. On those days, I sxribble hoping for clarity but nothing happens.

But then,when I doing something else in my day,the words come. That’s frustrating too because my pen is always in another room. Don’t you hate that? But at least I knowy creativity os not gone. Grateful for those ‘AHA’ moments