Tag Archives: #BlackMoms

My Top Ten Podcasts for Moms

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My Top Ten Podcasts for Moms

I actually wrote this post sometime last year and I recently went to update it and somehow the graphics got messed up so I had to delete the entire post. Anyway, I looove podcast! I became obsessed with them 2 years aho and I have favorites for every aspect of my life: the mom, the woman, a Black woman in America, the creative, the business,and the Christian. Like, I owe alot of my growth as an adult to listening to other people’s perspectives and journeys in life. My blog is mostly about being a mother so of course I have a lot of podcasts about that.The thing that all of these podcasts have in common is that all of these moms are honest about the not so great aspects of motherhood. They put themselves out there and I admire that so much.Here are some of my faves(no specific order)If you have any that you think I would like, do leave that in the comments.

1) BIG FAT POSITIVE: A PREGNANCY AND PARENTING JOURNEY

Hosts: Shanna and Laura

Show Info(via Stitcher)

Big Fat Positive (BFP) is an irreverent and funny show that follows two moms-to-be on their journey through pregnancy and into new motherhood, week by week. With weekly check-ins, special guests and segments such as “OMG I’m Freaking Out,” hosts Laura Birek and Shanna Micko recount the often hilarious and always honest highs and lows of being a pregnant woman and new mom. Episodes 1 to 32 deal with pregnancy. Episodes 33 on deal with new parenthood. Tune in wherever you are on your journey! New episodes are released every Monday.

Latest episode: Pumping The Breaks on Pumping Breast Milk

2) MOMS DON’T HAVE TIME TO READ BOOKS

Host: Zibby Owens

Show Info(via Stitcher):

Writer Zibby Owens, an NYC-based mom of four, interviews and chats with other writers about their work.

Latest episode:Zibby’s Essay: Making Time For Love This Valentine’s Day

3) THAT’S INAPPROPRIATE

Hosts: Tiffany Jenkins and Meredith

Show Info:Being a parent is the toughest job on the planet. Nuff said. Join me each week for an hour where we will discuss all things marriage, motherhood, and everything in between. I will take live calls from real Moms across the globe and give my advice-ish answers to all of your burning parenting questions. Remember, you are not alone. We are here for you!

Latest episode: Preschooler Gives Play by Play of Her Stolen Perfect Attendance Pencil

4)GIRL’S GIRLS PODCAST-

Hosts: Brittany Gibbons and Meredith Soleau

Show Info:

The flagship podcast from Curvy Girl Media brings together Brittany Gibbons and friends to talk about fashion, relationships, sex, parenting, and our bodies. Cool? As long as you’re here, pull out your wine glass and stay a while. This show is not always safe for wo

Latest episode:Getting Older and Weirder

5) MOMMIFACETED-

Host: Rachel Pierre

Show Info:Interviewing successful black moms and moms of color who are juggling motherhood, their careers, and finding balance – all while following their dreams. It’s not perfect, but it’s real motherhood. This podcast tells the journey of black moms owning the many facets of their life whether that’s who to trust to watch their children, working mom life, finding out if balance is possible, self care for mothers, and maintaining relationships. Previous guests on the show have included influencer Mattie James, Julee Wilson, the Beauty Director at Essence Magazine, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford of Therapy for Black Girls, and Felecia Hatcher of Black Tech Week, all moms with successful careers. We are more than just moms. Join host, Rachel Pierre for a talk about how to do it all – if that’s even possible.

Latest episode:Which Role Comes First- Wife or Mom? w/ Lakia Brandenburg

6)WHY MOMMY DRINKS-

Hosts: Betsey Stover and Amanda Allan

Show Info:

How many times have you found yourself standing in the middle of a store with a screaming toddler? Sitting in a school pickup line with a puking baby? Maybe you just feel like the day can’t possibly get any longer. Join comedians/moms Betsy Stover and Amanda Allan each week as they chat with a different guest (actors, musicians, writers, etc…) about the moments in parenting that broke them and possibly drove them to drink. It’s an advice free zone where the hosts and guests tell heartbreakingly honest and often hilarious stories of child rearing chaos.

Latest episode: Eve Sturges: Therapist Eyes

7)EXPERIENCING MOTHERHOOD SINGLE AND BLACK

Host: Kim Williams

Show Info(via apple podcasts):
Experiencing Motherhood: Single & Black is a podcast for single moms by single moms. Kim shares her experiences throughout her single mom journey along with tips and tricks to educate, inspire, and uplift other moms. Kim also brings on other moms (and sometimes dads) to talk about various topics related to single parenting in the black community.

Latest episode:Pressing Reset: New Year, Better Me

8) MAHOGANY MOMOLOGY

Hosts: Mel and Tash

Latest episode: Motherhood Abroad

9) SPAWNED-

Hosts:Liz and Kristen

Show Info:Hi, we’re Liz Gumbinner and Kristen Chase of CoolMomPicks.com and parents to six kids between us, that we know of. We’ve got a microphone and more than the two minutes the Today Show gives us, and we’re not afraid to use them. Join us (and some awesome celebrity guests) for candid parenting culture discussions, non-judgy (mostly) tips, and a good dose of humor, if we’ve had enough coffee. Which is always.

Named a top podcast by The Washington Post, Mental Floss, Business Insider and Fatherly; 2016 Iris Award winner for best parenting podcast.

Latest episode: Our Almost totslly Live Super Fun Valentine’s Day

10) SUPER MAMAS-

Hosts: Paulina and Bricia

Show Info:

Hosted by new moms (and sisters) Paulina and Bricia Lopez. Super Mamas is a judgment-free space where new, expecting and experienced mothers can come together to learn from one another, be inspired by each other and bond over their similar upbringings and cultural background. Laugh and cry along with the Super Mamas every week as they share their stories with friends, experts and each other. New episode every Tuesday.

Latest episode: How To Talk To Your Kids About Personal Safety

February TBR

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February TBR

I am so proud of myself for finishing three books for January! According to Goodreads, if I keep up the pace I’ll hit my 35 book goal right on time. This month I want all my books to meet categories in either of the challenges I’ve chosen to participate in because I’m still missing a lot of chosen books for many of the categories so I don’t feel like I’m making much progress participating. So for this month’s reads I’ve chosen:

1) CUBBYHOLE KID BY C.E. JOSEPH

Reading Women Challenge category: A biography

Goodreads Description:Cubbyhole Kid tells a harrowing survival story of a young four-year-old boy as he recounts his days being raised in a strict Irish Catholic family while expressing his gratitude and love for two incredible women that saved his life—his protective fourteen-year-old sister, his godmother, and his beautiful, religious mother. Together, along with his other siblings, his brothers, they painfully navigated their abusive, alcoholic, ex-military father through the mid-1960s, Los Angeles. While dealing with a severe childhood anxiety, suicidal depression, physical and learning disabilities at such a young age, the boy traveled inside the cubbyhole, a small, two-by-four middle section of the family station wagon, unexpectedly experiencing his World War II veteran father’s life-threatening road rage.

With the fear of death always looming, the boy witnessed his father’s all too familiar, unpredictable violence, explosive temperament, and heavy drinking during our country’s escalating involvement in the Vietnam War, the hippie cultural movement, riots in the streets, and arguably the heyday of rock-and-roll music.

The story describes the boy’s fond memories and relationship with his older sister, who bravely kept him shielded from their father’s harsh punishments and became like a second mother to him. While he experienced the beauty of life outside the home during his sister’s “coming-of-age” teenage years, along with her friends who were part of the youth cultural shift that seemingly took place overnight. The nightly demonstration of violence and abuse, coupled with his father’s unwillingness to accept the generational changes taking place with society’s youth, and his mother’s unexpected illness, would seem too much and test the young boy’s faith.

2)THE SECOND HOME BY CHRISTINA CLANCY-

Reading this for The Modern Mrs. Darcy Challeng category: A Debut Novel

Netgalley Description:

After a disastrous summer spent at her family summer home on Cape Cod, seventeen-year-old Ann Gordon was left with a secret that changed her life forever, and created a rift between her sister, Poppy, and their adopted brother, Michael.
Now, fifteen years later, her parents have died, leaving Ann and Poppy to decide the fate of the Wellfleet home that’s been in the Gordon family for generations. For Ann, the once-beloved house is tainted with bad memories. Poppy loves the old saltbox, but after years spent chasing waves around the world, she isn’t sure she knows how to stay in one place.
Just when the sisters decide to sell, Michael re-enters their lives with a legitimate claim to the house. But more than that, he wants to set the record straight about that long ago summer. Reunited after years apart, these very different siblings must decide if they can continue to be a family—and the house just might be the glue that holds them together.
Told through the shifting perspectives of Ann, Poppy, and Michael, this assured and affecting debut captures the ache of nostalgia for summers past and the powerful draw of the places we return to again and again. It is about second homes, second families, and second chances. Tender and compassionate, incisive and heartbreaking, The Second Home is the story of a family you’ll quickly fall in love with, and won’t soon forget.

3) SISTERS BY RAINA TELGEMEIER

The Modern Mrs. Darcy Challenge category: book recommended to you by trusted source( my daughter)

Amazon Description:

Raina can’t wait to be a big sister. But once Amara is born, things aren’t quite how she expected them to be. Amara is cute, but she’s also a cranky, grouchy baby, and mostly prefers to play by herself. Their relationship doesn’t improve much over the years, but when a baby brother enters the picture and later, something doesn’t seem right between their parents, they realize they must figure out how to get along. They are sisters, after all.

Raina uses her signature humor and charm in both present-day narrative and perfectly placed flashbacks to tell the story of her relationship with her sister, which unfolds during the course of a road trip from their home in San Francisco to a family reunion in Colorado.

4) THE STORYTELLER’S SECRET BY SEJAL BADANI-

Reading this because I loved Badani’s last novel, Trail of Broken Wings

Amazon Description:

Nothing prepares Jaya, a New York journalist, for the heartbreak of her third miscarriage and the slow unraveling of her marriage in its wake. Desperate to assuage her deep anguish, she decides to go to India to uncover answers to her family’s past.

Intoxicated by the sights, smells, and sounds she experiences, Jaya becomes an eager student of the culture. But it is Ravi—her grandmother’s former servant and trusted confidant—who reveals the resilience, struggles, secret love, and tragic fall of Jaya’s pioneering grandmother during the British occupation. Through her courageous grandmother’s arrestingly romantic and heart-wrenching story, Jaya discovers the legacy bequeathed to her and a strength that, until now, she never knew was possible.

As always, leave me the links for your February TBR below. Happy reading!

4 Tips on Traveling on the Subway with A Toddler

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4 Tips on Traveling on the Subway with A Toddler

I have a 4 hour commute (going and coming back)Monday through Friday to get Amani to and from school. Most of those days I have to bring Avery with me unless his grandma babysits. I’ve been doing this for a few months now and I’ve learned a couple of things during that time. I hope these tips help and if you have any more,drop them in the comments.

1) BRING SNACKS. I’m up at 4:30 am and Avery is up at that time as well. I feed him breakfast but by the time I’ve dropped Amani off, its around 8:30 and he starts getting a little cranky and peckish. I pack dry cereal and orange juice or water and he eats and takes a nap. I suggest a healthy snack that isnt messy but if you forget, there are newsstands in most of the train stations.

2) ASK FOR HELP. One of the train stations I use to travel doesn’t have elevators or escalators,which means stairs are the only option. I usually lug the stroller up and down the stairs myself but not anymore.A young woman fell down the stairs and broke her neck while taking her stroller down the stairs. That really scared me so now if Amani isn’t with me to help, I don’t mind asking. I very rarely have to ask and it’s usually a gentleman who helps. But sometimes people act like they don’t see you and on those occasions,I ask. Don’t be afraid, remember it takes a village and who can say no to a woman with a baby?Oh, and I’ve been harassing the MTA on Twitter about putting elevators in ALL the subway stations. Might even start a petition. If they want to raise the fare, they have to make it worth it.

Lomg train rides require a nap

3) TALK TO YOUR TODDLER. Avery is in his pointing phase and he wants to know what everything is by pointing and saying “that”. Being a city baby provides LOTS of opportunities for learning. For example, here in NY the trains have letters or numbers to identify them. We take the ‘A train’ and whenever it pulls into the station,Avery will point and say ‘A’. When other trains pull in, i repeat the letter for him in an attempt to get him to recognize and remember it. Also, read the name of the stops to your toddler as well as signs and the subway maps. You may not think they are paying attention or understand but repetition is key. It alo distracts from tantrums and restlessness.

4) ENCOURAGE TALKING TO STRANGERS. As I said in #3, Avery is in a pointing phase and he loves to also point at people. People usually smile, wave, and talk to him and he ‘talks’ back. This is a great way to encourage and practice socialization skills. Avery LOVES people and is starting to understand how conversation works. Thankfully, no one talks to him in “baby talk”. A few people even shake hands with Avery which is another way he’s learning how to greet people. And just like #3, it distracts him from being restless and having a tantrum.

Traveling with a baby used to really make me nervous mbut now that I have been using these tips, its much smoother sailing. There can be annoying delays and rerouting of train lines(mostly weekends) but remember babies/toddlers thrive on consistency so no matter how the travel changes stick to the routine as much as possible. And if all else fails stick a tablet in their face. Good luck, city moms!

January 2020 Goals

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January 2020 Goals

I know I’m about two weeks late with this post but I had to really think about what my goals are for this month. I wanted to wait until I got into the groove of yet another new routine where I’m at 4:30 in the morning. This last week proved very exhausting physically but I can get things done if I use the time wisely…but I REALLY want to sleep

My personal goals are really simple. I just want to go back to my Miracle Morning routine. It was very helpful in getting me in a positive mood for the day and I enjoyed having that me time before the chaos of the kids. I’m crabby and all over the place in the morning and I sometimes take it out on the kids which I don’t like at all. So, here’s to a more calm me. Also, I’m looking for a new apartment for me,my mom,and the kids.The Girl wants to go back to Far Rockaway which I don’t really mind. My mom wants Manhattan which I do mind. It’s the most expensive borough and I’m already stretching our dollars as far as they can go. I don’t mind Brooklyn or Queens. As long as the area is decent, the home is up to code,and I can picture raising the kids there for years to come, I’m sold.

Avery’s father has come back into the picture and wants to help me raise Avery and start over with me as well. I have no issue with him being a dad and I’m cautiously optimistic about it. So far, he’s been seeing Avery once or twice week. He had a minor setback when he fell off a ladder at work and fractured his ankle but he’s recovering well. Not sure how I feel about us getting back together but I won’t completely dismiss it.

As for the blog, I have been challenged to do a schedule of posts for they entire year. That scares me because I never really plan ahead. I just write the post and publish. Even this one is unplanned and I’m doing it while holding a sleeping Avery.

I see the point of a schedule and I understand how I could benefit from one so I’m going to try it. Instead of doing it a whole year in advance I’ll break it down to scheduling a month or two in advance. If any of you have any tips on scheduling posts, drop them in my comment section because I could use the help. I’ve also started a You Tube channel. Last year, I barely watched You Tube but many of my favorite book bloggers have accompanying channels and I do enjoy visuals of them and their gorgeous bookshelves. I warn you now, I have no cute lighting, no makeup,and I’m wearing my headscarf in all the videos. This is more of an experiment right now and I don’t know if I want to do book stuff or mom stuff or both. Definitely gonna pray about that.

My reading goals are pretty overconfident to say the least. I have decided to participate in two challenge, The Modern Mrs. Darcy Challenge and the Reading Women Challenge. Oh,and I’m participating in Dewey’s Readathon in April. My book goal for the year is 35 books and between the MMD Challenge and the Reading Women Challenge, I think that’s 34 books. Some of the categories are going to be a little difficult for me but I’m up for it.

I’m looking forward to another blessed year even if I’m unable to reach all my goals. For me the purpose of them is not about completion but about the growth I will get from pursuing them. Wishing you all a prosperous, healthy new year!!!

My Hair Regimen 2019

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My Hair Regimen 2019

Hey, natural moms!! Raise your hand if you’re like me and neglect your hair because you’re a mom…I’ll wait…………Uh huh, exactly as I thought, most of you put all your energy into child rearing and forget about you. I’m with you,girl.

With Amani self care went out the window. I was raised by a single mom who worked and neglected her social life a lot. So to prove I was a good mom, I did the same. A year into that, I was like “Nah, I have to breathe. So I started figuring out how to make myself feel better when I can’t go out. So I went natural in 2013. I started off really strong dedicating alot of money and time to getting my hair in check.

Fast forward and I have Avery,who is a HANDFUL and I don’t have time for hair. But when I do try to tame the bird’s nest on my head, I keep the same regimen as I did 6 years ago. As tight as my budget for myself is, I managed to get a couple new hair products,some I’ve used faithfully and a couple new things. I’m a product junkie, so definitely tell me what you’re using on your and how you use it.

Pre poo(prepping the hair with product before wash. This step makes the hair more pliable for washing.

I usually use use a cheap conditioner by VO5 for pre poo but I think I have found a holy grail with Creme of Nature’s Clay and Charcoal prepp treatment. I’ve heard good things about the detoxifying benefits of charcoal so I wanted in. OMG, it immediately softens the curls before the hair is even clean. It goes on smooth and has a slight detergent smell but I loved it. I section my hair into six and apply the product generously to each section.

Then I cover with a plastic cap and headscarf for ten minutes. Enough time to make sure Avery isn’t destroying something or annoying his sister.

Washing:

I rinse out the pre poo, then apply a shampoo. I love ORS’s Monoi Oil Anti Breakage Leave In cream. It doubles as a deep conditioner, which is the next step. I never used the shampoo or conditioner that’s in the same product line. I like good slip in my shampoo and this shampoo has meh slip. It is sooo hard to squeeze out the conditioner from the bottle because it’s really thick. It should have been in a jar. But just after shampooing, I noticed less breakage as promised. Because of my neglect I had a lot of breakage. Yes, I’d use this shampoo and conditioner again.

Conditioning:

Because of aforementioned breakage, I needed a protein conditioner. It helps with breakage by strengthening the hair shaft. I normally use ORS Hair Mayo but I needed something powerful so I turned to Aphogee’s 2 Step Protein Treatment. It’s watery in consistency which apparently is good for my low porosity hair but ut hardens in the hair fast so apply quick ly. I left it on for 10 minutes and it took quite a bit of rinsing to make sure it was out. I don’t think I’ll use it again, the hardening of my hair was not cool.

I applied the ORS Monoi Oil Anti Breakage conditioner(see previous picture)because protein conditioners really dry your hair out and you need to replace that moisture. Im not going to lie, I love this line because the packaging is my favorite color but the products are very good. I love that there are no overwhelming scents and it’s not expensive. I use a lot of products on my hair and I don’t want competing smells on it.

I usually leave conditioner on my hair for around 30 minutes. Its covered in a plastic cap and head scarf. More time to check in with kids, scroll Twitter, or look up new Pinterest crockpot recipes. I have this multi tasking thing IN.THE.BAG.

The Big Finish:

After I rinse out conditioner, i add a leave in conditioner. Creme of Nature Argain Oil line is primo. Ive used the shampoo, intense conditioner,and curlxl creme but the leave in is my favorite. It makes the hair shiny, has a clean scent and the oil keeps it moisturized. It’s a liquid spray that yoh must shake to activate.

After that, I apply my oils which is usually Jamaican Black castor oil, extra virgin olive oil, or coconut oil. The blend I’m currently using is JBCO, EVOO,and tea tree. All of them have excellent hair benefits including thickening of hair, antifungal properties, and moisture retention. If I’m not going to twist my hair right away, then I make six large cornrows and cover in my headscarf when I sleep.

I know this routine seems like a lot but your hair needs love and time and patience, just like your kids. If you have other methods of hair care, I’m all ears. Find me on IG, Facebook, and Twitter.Until next week!!

What Is A Single Mom?

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What Is A Single Mom?

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Spawned, and the topic was Who Can Be Called A Single Mom? The hosts described how they define a single mom. I believe one of the hosts’ husband has passed away so she considers herself single. After hearing their perspective, I started thinking what “single mom” means to me. So let me back up a bit.

My grandmother became a widow in 1970 after 10 years of marriage and 5 children with my grandfather. She did not date much, deciding instesd to work and raise the children. It wasnt so hard for her to do this because she had plenty of family to look after the kids while she worked. She didnt start dating until all the children were grown. According to my mom she dated a couple losers before finding a good guy and giving birth to a 6th child. She didn’t marry my uncle’s dad but they were a couple until his sudden death. He did provide financially for my uncle through his retirement benefits and there were also death benefits my uncle received as well.

To me,the fact that my grandma had a romantic partner that loved with her means she was not single. Here’s another example. My biological mother was married when she was 17 to a much older man she hsd known since childhood. They had a son a few years into marriage and then my mom left her husband. She started an affair with another married man which resulted in a baby. The married man stayed with his wife but his wife got even with him by giving my mother his social security number to claim child support for the baby. My mom went on to have 2 more children while still legally married. My youngest brother’s father was her domestic partner for around 20 years,outlasting her actual marriage. However, I considered her single because she was married through her last 3 pregnancies and her husband and her were estranged.

I consider myself single for the same reason,kind of. I’ve never been married and I’m not in a commited relationship with someone who helps take care of my kids.

Here’s a last example for you before you decide what you think single is. My adopted mom was married to a man 20 years ago. She split up with him a month or two into their marriage and they have not seen or spoken to each other since 2000. In 2006,Mom got baptized into out faith, Pentecostal Christian. In our beliefs,divorce although recognized legally is not recognized by the church. You can not date anyone until your spouse has passed. If you do legally divorce, you still can not date or remarry until your spouse has died. So according to the church, my mom was not single until her husband died a few months ago.

So,whenever a mom tells you she’s single,think about what that means for you (if you’re pursuing a mom) and ask her what that means to and for her. Tell me,moms, how do you define being a single mom?

Thoughts on 30

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I’m 30 years old now. I still can’t believe that. When you have what’s called a milestone birthday,it really makes you think. I let the Devil get in my head and tell me I was a failure at life. He played bsck to me the lives of those around me and pointrd out how I falk shorrt of that. I fell for it hook,line,and sinker instead of focusing on the good things. I’m alive,I have a home, I eat every day, my kids are healthy,I have no majot health issues. Thank you God for those blessings.

I do feel unfulfilled in my life, though. I don’t have money, a job, and cam BARELY feed my family. Plus, my mom is very sick and won’t seek medical treatment. She’s having kidney failure qnd heart problems and I think she’s given up fighting for her life. That troubles me more than anything. I’ve tried talking to her about going but all I get is the brush off. That makes me angry because I feel like her giving up is selfish.But maybe she’s scared because she knows it’s bad and it may be too late. If that is the case, I would rather face it head on than do nothing. I jave prayed yhat the Lord will move her to take care of herself but it’s out of my hands, isn’t it? Since that’s the case I have to focus on getting my own life together. I called my aunt to clme over and see if she can talk some sense into her. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just pray that Mom reconciles herself to God before it’s too late.

My prayers lately have been for God to show me what my next steps should be in order to get my life together. He seems to be pointing me in the direction of crochet. I wanted tp3 sell some of it last year but had to deal with issues with my pregnancy. But this time, He seems to be revealing the plan to me in small achievable steps. He’s an awesome God because while I’m crocheting,my mind and hands are busy,not idle.

Mind you, I don’t know the first thing about being in a self made business. But God will show me because HE is my business partner. There is a podcast, B. Hooked, that I listen to about crochet that has skme episodes about being a business. I can start there. I have a few sample stitches Ive done and I can post them for people to see. Last night, before I went to bed I got a message from the Lord to make a unisex baby blanket. I have the right yarn for it and I’ll just read a pattern. This plan CAN work.

I posted on social media that I aas moving in silence and right away one of my friends called me a dumb ass and another tried to guilt me into telling her. I told them that I’ll revealed everything when the time is right. I don’t know how they’ll feel about that but I’m not worried about it. I’m exercising my right to be quiet. If they are my friends,they’ll understand. If not,may the Lord remove them from my journey. I feel a little lighter already about things and I have to keep my focus on the Lord.

My Baby Development Series

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My Baby Development Series

For those of you who dont know, I have a monthly livestream series on Periscope. Its called Oh,Baby! and it follows the development of my son,Avery. I want to bring Avery live with me so you can all drool over him. He is in the first episode,though.You can catch it every 5th of the month at 10 am EST. THE next one airs this coming Tuesday. If you jave missed any episodes, here they are and I hope to see you live with any questions or comments you may have. If I cant answer your questions at that time, I will post the answers on my Facebook page. As always thanks for the likes,follows,and shares!

Episode 1- Introduction/Labor& Delivery:

https://www.pscp.tv/w/b0k0GjFWR2p2RFJwa0paUU98MWpNS2dPRExWdm1LTIwmjCsRiI323gRd37VS0Shed8-SKg8CDvbyp-YLDkfU

Episode 2- Routine:

https://www.pscp.tv/w/b0k1VjFWR2p2RFJwa0paUU98MWdxeHZuUk1ibHF4QoVJGxyXQrOiSiwY2uCl9OaY2Y33DGGzhu36MEfsltiV?t=2s

Episode 3- Settled:

https://www.pscp.tv/w/b0k0vDFWR2p2RFJwa0paUU98MXlOeGFPa1pOcnZHartPIfmc6lpnX1A1UPJfPJNsnqRMVhqGGldAjrK-u5TX

3 Thing I Learned During Pregnancy

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3 Thing I Learned During Pregnancy

I am so glad to not be pregnant anymore. The last few weeks were really uncomfortable. I developed some weird pain in the top of my swollen foot along with a multitude of weird pain inducing and sometimes gross symptoms. But now Avery is here and I’m feeling a little reflective. This pregnancy was very different from the first one birth physically and mentally and I definitely learned a few things about myself and pregnancy:

1) Being dehydrated can cause preterm contractions. I went into the hospital 2 weeks ago because of contractions. They didnt hurt and I had been having them for a few days so I chalked it up to Braxton- Hicks contractions which are not a big deal and no cause for alarm. I was told that I was having contractions because I was dehydrated. (Of course I am Doc, I’m peeing every ten minutes🙄)You see,

Your uterus is a big muscle and, just like any other muscle in your body, it can cramp up when you don’t have enough water.
When someone is pregnant, their blood volume increases by almost two times its usual amount, she explains. If they become dehydrated, blood flow to the uterus is reduced, causing uterine cramping or contractions due to the lack of hydration. “The uterus’s response to the lack of blood volume and fluids is to cramp, which can result in menstrual-like cramping or contractions”- Shannon M. Clark, M.D.

I was encouraged to drink 10-12 glasses of water a day for the rest of my pregnancy and sent home. The water did make the pain disappear.

Dehydrated in the Labor and Delivery Unit

2)Asking for help is a must. When I used to see pregnant women being treated like a handicap person it made the feminist in me enraged. I was determined to be able to do all my normal tasks just as I had always done. Once I hit 7 months, I realized I just couldnt do things. I was too ashamed to admit that I needed help especially after I had been all “I am woman,hear me roar” the whole time. My brother came to me one day and said he had overheard me on the phone complaining about cleaning the house all by myself. He apologized for not realizing just how much assistance I needed and vowed to take out the garbage and clean the litter box for me. He did.

3)Lamaze breathing really does work. Avery’s birth was a scheduled c section but I was feeling more intense contractions and 2 hours after being admitted my water broke. I got nervous because I knew the contractions would only get worse. I immediately flashed back to Amani’s birth and the excruciating pain I experienced during labor. This time,I wanted to be more in control so I took deep breaths as the contractions hit. Surprisingly to me,they really helped. Focusing on my breathing helped distract me from the pain,which on a scale of 1-10 hit a 7.

All in all, I had a great pregnancy. Yeah I had a huge belly and painful edema but I learned that pregnancy is a delicate process you’re body goes through and asking for help not only takes the already heavy load off of you,but it helps bring together family for the preparation of a baby. I’m proud of myself for managing my pain and labor and delivery was quick(5hrs,15 minutes). My first pregnancy experience was full of shame and sadness. I couldnt enjoy watching Amani grow inside me but this time I was filled with overwhelming joy. I encourage all expecting moms to embrace the journey and listen to your body.

MommyinColorExpects:34 Weeks

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MommyinColorExpects:34 Weeks

Hey everyone!!! I’m back!!! First, I really just want to thank all my followers old and new. I can’t believe I was able to get new readers despite the blog being stale for the last month or so. I am so thankful for that!

I was finally able to get a new phone after my old one had been dropped so much, it started malfunctioning. There are a million things I was unable to do with the old phone and I can do EVERYTHING with my new one so YAY! Let’s get into some baby business.

I am currently 34 weeks(approx. 8 months) and Avery is thriving. He is around 5 pounds and is developing at a normal pace. For those of you who follow me on Periscope, you know that there was a concern about Avery’s health when I was 5 months along. There were some cysts found on his brain which did not surprise me. I had the same issue with Amani when I was pregnant with her. Upon her birth, she was born completely healthy is and still is today. I had to have a total of 4 sonograms and a fetal MRI to monitor and determine the nature of the cysts. I went to my last sonogram about two weeks ago and there was no sign of the cysts on Avery’s brain. The sono tech was pleasantly surprised and relieved. I just responded that I knew everything would be fine. We also found out that Avery is in breech position. That means that his feet are still facing the bottom of my stomach and his head is at the top. He should actually be turned around. Here’s what I mean:

I had my last prenatal exam this week and since Avery is breech my o.b. thinks it’s best I get a c-section. Delivering him vaginally in his current position would be a hard and possibly risky delivery and because my prior birthing experience was also not vaginal, we want to be as safe as possible. I’ve been hearing and seeing a lot of articles regarding the mortality rates of Black moms giving birth and its honestly scared the crap out of me so now I just want a safe and quick delivery.

I plan on breastfeeding right from the beginning and so I have been reading up on it. The first thing I learned is that you can store breastmilk for up to a year. I was like ” Say what?!”. I have learned about storing it and that breastmilk develops in stages when you first start. Right now I’m expressing colostrum,which is a watery liquid and the starter milk for Avery. It will change a week or two after we’ve settled into our routine and there are benefits not just for him but me as well. I got a breast pump,too!

I still am not ready for Avery but I’m getting there. His crib and stroller have been ordered which were the most major purchases to be made. Now that it’s done, I’m breathing easier(not really because breathing gets harder week by week). Now all that’s left is a paint job,curtain changes, packing the hospital bag, and buying Avery a snow suit or 2, bibs,diapers,wipes, pacifiers,and just in case formula. I’m hesitant about buying formula because I’m so anxious for breastfeeding to work but I am going to be prepared for IF it doesn’t. This is my last month to do everything and I’m feeling a little pressure to get everything done. However, everything has fallen into place so I’m going to just relax and enjoy buying cute baby things.