Tag Archives: motherhood

Let’s Talk About Sex(Briefly)

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Let’s Talk About Sex(Briefly)

It has come to my attention that although we mom bloggers are expected to be honest about our lives, we are still viewed as non sexual in some respects. I was talking to a friend and she alerted me that she could see a tweet of mine discussing a sex act in detail. To myself I’m like “So what? I’m grown and so aremy followers. She then explained to me how readers view mom bloggers and moms in general.I’m like ” I have two kids, it should be obvious that I have sex”. But, in case it isn’t…I HAVE SEX. Here’s an even bigger news break: I ENJOY SEX.

Now, I know that statement is contradictory to my Christian beliefs but I’m not a hypocrite. I believe that we were created to be sexual for procreation but not solely for procreation. If that were the case, why do we get satisfaction from having sex? Why not just have sex be a thing we do to make babies with no emotional stuff attached? Sure, Im having sex without the benefit of marriage and sure it’s a sin. But I feel like Christians take it to the extreme when criticizing what is in our nature to do. If children are a blessing, then why try to shame the way in which the blessing was delivered.

This is not a discussion about religion, by the way. This is just me talking about myself as a sexual being. For you out there who just see a book nerd single pious mom, I’m far from that. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Sex and the Single Me

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Sex and the Single Me

I needs me a man! Things with Avery’s father fell apart fairly quickly after I became pregnant. We weren’t in a traditional relationship to begin with so I was not surprised when after I told him Avery was coming, he quickly exited the picture.

I was kind of bitter about the way thongs ended and even went into a mini man hating phase. Then my libido kicked back in. I had my first sexual experience 3 months after Avery was born. It was a casual thing with someone I know. There were no real feelings attached,it was just sex and we went back to our regular friendship.

I’m not good at picking men. I never have been and I’m not sure when or if I’ll be ready for a serious committed relationship. I think I want to be a wife but I’m not sure because I’ve never imagined myself as one. I knew I was going to be a mom and its what I wanted but wife just seems a little murky to me.

I don’t have any examples of healthy relationships in my family except for my brother. My biological mother was married at 17 to the love of her life but when drugs came into the picture, her marriage was ruined. She pined for that man until she passed away. It was sad to watch her go through that. My adopted was with a great guy and they also got married. But a week or two later, she kicked him out after realizing she sidnt want to be a wife. I loved her husband and was looking forward to him being my dad. So that hurt me that things didn’t work out. This is cliche, but I’m scared of commitment and getting my heart broken.

With the things going on in my life right now, I don’t have the attention to dedicate to a serious relationship. However, I enjoy being with someone but also like being left alone. I think I will date casually for awhile. My definition of casual is we go to the movies or dinner, we are intimate, we talk or text occasionally, and we have our lives. None of these casual acquaintances will be introduced to my kids because it’s inappropriate in my opinion.

I don’t feel any pressure to get down the aisle because I’m 30 or whatever nor do I feel pressure to marry because my kids should have a father. These are reasons other people have given me for why I should be ready to marry. I DO feel pressure to find happiness for myself in whatever way I can and I’m not apologizing for that.

Thoughts on 30

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I’m 30 years old now. I still can’t believe that. When you have what’s called a milestone birthday,it really makes you think. I let the Devil get in my head and tell me I was a failure at life. He played bsck to me the lives of those around me and pointrd out how I falk shorrt of that. I fell for it hook,line,and sinker instead of focusing on the good things. I’m alive,I have a home, I eat every day, my kids are healthy,I have no majot health issues. Thank you God for those blessings.

I do feel unfulfilled in my life, though. I don’t have money, a job, and cam BARELY feed my family. Plus, my mom is very sick and won’t seek medical treatment. She’s having kidney failure qnd heart problems and I think she’s given up fighting for her life. That troubles me more than anything. I’ve tried talking to her about going but all I get is the brush off. That makes me angry because I feel like her giving up is selfish.But maybe she’s scared because she knows it’s bad and it may be too late. If that is the case, I would rather face it head on than do nothing. I jave prayed yhat the Lord will move her to take care of herself but it’s out of my hands, isn’t it? Since that’s the case I have to focus on getting my own life together. I called my aunt to clme over and see if she can talk some sense into her. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just pray that Mom reconciles herself to God before it’s too late.

My prayers lately have been for God to show me what my next steps should be in order to get my life together. He seems to be pointing me in the direction of crochet. I wanted tp3 sell some of it last year but had to deal with issues with my pregnancy. But this time, He seems to be revealing the plan to me in small achievable steps. He’s an awesome God because while I’m crocheting,my mind and hands are busy,not idle.

Mind you, I don’t know the first thing about being in a self made business. But God will show me because HE is my business partner. There is a podcast, B. Hooked, that I listen to about crochet that has skme episodes about being a business. I can start there. I have a few sample stitches Ive done and I can post them for people to see. Last night, before I went to bed I got a message from the Lord to make a unisex baby blanket. I have the right yarn for it and I’ll just read a pattern. This plan CAN work.

I posted on social media that I aas moving in silence and right away one of my friends called me a dumb ass and another tried to guilt me into telling her. I told them that I’ll revealed everything when the time is right. I don’t know how they’ll feel about that but I’m not worried about it. I’m exercising my right to be quiet. If they are my friends,they’ll understand. If not,may the Lord remove them from my journey. I feel a little lighter already about things and I have to keep my focus on the Lord.

Favorite Parenting Podcasts

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You all know I love podcasts!! I have found soooooo many in so many of the subjects I am interested. So it should be no surprise that I have some parenting podcast favorites as well. These podcasts are both relatable and informative. I’ve even chuckled at an episode or two. They have made me think of myself as a parent differently which has led to be adjusting the way I parent my kids. I hope to find more podcasts to love but I the meant time here are a few I enjoy(in no particular order):

1)Spawned w/Kristen and Liz of coolmompicks


Show Info:

Hi, we’re Liz Gumbinner and Kristen Chase of CoolMomPicks.com. We’ve got a microphone and more than the two minutes the Today Show gives us, and we’re not afraid to use them. Join us (and some awesome celebrity guests) for candid parenting culture discussions, non-judgy (mostly) tips, and a good dose of humor, if we’ve had enough coffee. Which is always. Named a top podcast by The Washington Post, Mental Floss, Business Insider and Fatherly; 2016 Iris Award winner for best parenting podcast.

Latest episode: How To Make More Time So You Can Do More of What You Love

2) Mahogany Momology

Show Info: An online dialogue pertaining to the concerns and carefree parenting of Black motherhood

Latest episode:Common Law Marriage

3)That’s Inappropriate

Host(s): Meredith Masony and Tiffany Jenkins

Show Info:
Wife, Mother to three children, dog Mom of two, and founder of That’s Inappropriate and That’s Inappropriate Parents. I started this community back in October of 2014 because I felt alone and thought I was the only Mom who was losing her mind on a daily basis.

My mission is to educate parents about choosing their battles in life and helping women find themselves. As a parenting and women’s empowerment expert I strive to help every parent I can. My journey through illness and self-discovery has given me the insight necessary be able to help others. My book Scoop The Poop released in Nov. 2016 and it was a #1 new release in Parenting and Humor. I have traveled to conferences to speak on parenting, women’s empowerment, and how I created a business while juggling marriage and raising three kids. Join me in the Hot Mess Express Community for Perfectly Imperfect Parents.

Latest episode:Blowups at the Christmas Play, SAHM Mom Depression,and The “Nag”

4)Experiencing Motherhood Single and Black

Host: Kim Williams

Show Info: In the Experiencing Motherhood: Single & Black Podcast, Kim will be sharing her experiences throughout her single mom journey along with tips and tricks to inspire and uplift other moms. Kim will also bring on other guests to talk about various topics related to single parenting in the black community

Latest episode: Homebuying for Single Moms

2019 Quarter One Goals

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2019 Quarter One Goals

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your families, friends,and significant others during the holidays. I also hope you’re ready to get down to business this year like I am.My theme/word for this year is consistency and so I’ve picked goals that will help me focus on that.

Now that I’ve given birth to my son, Avery, I’m ready to start earning some coin to support my children. I have been blogging for 7 years now and I haven’t earned a dime on my words. I’ve been hearing a lot about affiliate marketing and I actually have an Amazon affiliate account but I’m not sure how to use it for the blog. Thank goodness for YouTube and podcast because I plan on using them to learn just how to use affiliates successfully. I dont plan on making a whole lot of money but something is better than nothing.

I was also considering becoming a brand ambassador for baby brands or reviewing items for compensation. Dont misunderstand me, I will only review products I have actually used for my baby and I assume an added benefit is that I would get some items for free to do the reviews. Once again, I have no idea how to do that but I know who to ask about approaching brands.

I started a baby development series on Periscope called Oh,Baby! and it will follow my journey into motherhood a second time around as well as document Avery’s progress and growth. Already in the first episode I think I mention poop quite a bit and if I dont,dont worry it’s coming lol. I will go live every 5th of the month at 10 AM EST,with Avery as my co host.

Last but not least I’m restarting a second series on Periscope called The First 100,in which I review the first 100 pages of the book I’m currently reading. It’s not a long drawn out review just a little snippet to what your appetite and help you decided if you want to read it. It will premiere on Monday January 7th, 2019 at 10 AM EST.

I have quite a few social media goals I know but I have a personal goal as well. There is a real concern about health for my mother and her doctor us urging a lifestyle change,which includes healthier eating. My daughter’s doctor also is concerned about health issues for her due to weight gain and so I’ve decided to do a complete overhaul of my refrigerator and eat healthy via the recipes I make. Some of my family’s favorites can be made in a healthier way and so my plan is not to focus on losing weight but to focus on being healthier as a family. The weight loss will just be a bonus.

I would love to hear some of your goals for 2019. Leave them in the comments or hit me up across all social media at mommyincolor(mommyincolor89 on Twitter) Let’s hold each other accountable

Baby Haul

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The best thing about being pregnant,aside from being able to eat what I want, is buying cute baby stuff. My close friend and neighbor gave me her son’s baby clothes and his hardly used car seat. As soon as I folded those things away, I was bitten by the shopping bug. It took me two months after that to buy Avery’s clothes and I think that’s because his health was still a question and I was scared to hit things and something awful happened. But now that that is not an issue anymore, here’s a few things I’ve picked up for my little prince

You’ve already seen the crib in my house,but here is what it looks like outside of the box:
Dream On Me Davenport 5-in-1 Convertible Crib-

I had to buy the mattress separate but I got the same brand that made the crib:

Dream on Me 5″ Coil Spring Mattress-$34.99

A bed needs sheets so…(I realized too late that these sheets are for pack n plays. I hope it doesn’t matter).

Pack N Play Playard Fitted Sheets 2 pack-$17.95

Amani would like to show off her baby brother to her friends when it is warmer and I don’t want to pull out the stroller, I can throw on this really cute carrier:

Infantino Flip 4 in 1 Baby Carrier

I suspect Avery will spend a great deal of time getting milk drunk and passing out. He will drool profusely like his sister did and these are the SAME bibs she had:

Neat Soultions 8 pack bibs

I remember how swaddling was a good way to calm a baby,so I wanted to get some nice soft blankets for the perfect nap time:

Flannel Baby Blankets Two by Two 4 Pack

I also bought some milk storage bags, a mattress cover,and some pacifiers. I got most of these things from Target,where my baby registry is. I like their prices and relied on their quality so I’m glad to use them again. Oh,the mattress came from Walmart as did the sheets.

What’s left on my list of baby essentials to get are:

diapers

bath items

medicine cabinet

I love a good deal or sale so if any of you know where I can get the best deals on the above mentioned, drop me a line!!!

MommyinColorExpects:34 Weeks

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MommyinColorExpects:34 Weeks

Hey everyone!!! I’m back!!! First, I really just want to thank all my followers old and new. I can’t believe I was able to get new readers despite the blog being stale for the last month or so. I am so thankful for that!

I was finally able to get a new phone after my old one had been dropped so much, it started malfunctioning. There are a million things I was unable to do with the old phone and I can do EVERYTHING with my new one so YAY! Let’s get into some baby business.

I am currently 34 weeks(approx. 8 months) and Avery is thriving. He is around 5 pounds and is developing at a normal pace. For those of you who follow me on Periscope, you know that there was a concern about Avery’s health when I was 5 months along. There were some cysts found on his brain which did not surprise me. I had the same issue with Amani when I was pregnant with her. Upon her birth, she was born completely healthy is and still is today. I had to have a total of 4 sonograms and a fetal MRI to monitor and determine the nature of the cysts. I went to my last sonogram about two weeks ago and there was no sign of the cysts on Avery’s brain. The sono tech was pleasantly surprised and relieved. I just responded that I knew everything would be fine. We also found out that Avery is in breech position. That means that his feet are still facing the bottom of my stomach and his head is at the top. He should actually be turned around. Here’s what I mean:

I had my last prenatal exam this week and since Avery is breech my o.b. thinks it’s best I get a c-section. Delivering him vaginally in his current position would be a hard and possibly risky delivery and because my prior birthing experience was also not vaginal, we want to be as safe as possible. I’ve been hearing and seeing a lot of articles regarding the mortality rates of Black moms giving birth and its honestly scared the crap out of me so now I just want a safe and quick delivery.

I plan on breastfeeding right from the beginning and so I have been reading up on it. The first thing I learned is that you can store breastmilk for up to a year. I was like ” Say what?!”. I have learned about storing it and that breastmilk develops in stages when you first start. Right now I’m expressing colostrum,which is a watery liquid and the starter milk for Avery. It will change a week or two after we’ve settled into our routine and there are benefits not just for him but me as well. I got a breast pump,too!

I still am not ready for Avery but I’m getting there. His crib and stroller have been ordered which were the most major purchases to be made. Now that it’s done, I’m breathing easier(not really because breathing gets harder week by week). Now all that’s left is a paint job,curtain changes, packing the hospital bag, and buying Avery a snow suit or 2, bibs,diapers,wipes, pacifiers,and just in case formula. I’m hesitant about buying formula because I’m so anxious for breastfeeding to work but I am going to be prepared for IF it doesn’t. This is my last month to do everything and I’m feeling a little pressure to get everything done. However, everything has fallen into place so I’m going to just relax and enjoy buying cute baby things.

2018 Hair Regimen

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A benefit I love about being pregnant is all the extra hair. The hormones are really making me look great(sometimes… there are acne breakouts). Around 90 percent of the hair grows during pregnancy,and you only lose 10 percent falls out. New hair grows in its place.However, I know this is a temporary blessing. I know I will lose hair post partum and if/when I stop breastfeeding

I love the thickness I’m getting. Even the stubborn patch in the back/middle of my head is growing WITH the rest of my hair. My thinking is that I can reduce how much I lose by upping my routine. I’m a lazy natural and have been for years and Im nit even going to kid myself about keeping it up post Avery. I will be lucky if I will be able to take a shower once a week. Oh trust me,I remember newborn days.

Anyway my secret weapon to keeping my preggo growth is Jamaican Black Castor oil(JBCO). It promotes thickness and I promise you it works. I’ve had my current bottle (which also has lavender oil in it) for about a month. I use it in my shampoo because it helps a good lather going(slip). I’m currently using Shea Moisture brand Moisture Retention shampoo. I won a sample in a giveaway,fell in love with it all over again,then bought a full sized bottle. I shampoo my hair in sections to make sure all if my hair gets proper attention. I don’t put shampoo anywhere else other than my scalp. As I rinse the shampoo runs down the length of my hair, cleans it, and I Don’t have to use extra shampoo.

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After I wash, I deep condition. Protein conditioner s strengthen the hair and help with breakage and I alternate between that and a moisturizing conditioning treatment. Lately, I like Creme of Nature w/ Argan Oil Intense Conditioning Treatment. It helps strengthen hair, prevent breakage,and adds moisture. I also do that still in sections,cover with a conditioning cap and silk scarf. Those of you who follow me on Periscope have seen my various scarves. I leave it in for about half an hour then rinse.

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Before styling,I add a leave in conditioner. Going to be honest with you, I sometimes skip deep conditioning because I’m lazy or out of conditioner and money,but I never skip the leave in. My favorite to use is also by Creme of Nature. It’s with argan oil as well and comes in spray form. It definitely makes the hsir soft and shiny. Amani’s hsir loves it! After the leave in,I put in oil. I don’t use hair grease and haven’t in 6 years. Many of them tend to have petrolatum as an ingredient which blocks the hair follicle from growing. If I am out of JBCO, I will use extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) or extra virgin coconut oil (EVCO). Most times,I mix them together. The applicator bottle you see pictured has JBCO and EVCO in it. Get one because it makes it easier to apply to the scalp.

The last step is to apply a water based cream moisturizer. Since I’m cheap I like a moisturizer that can double as a styler for my twists. Right now I like Eden Bodyworks Coconut Shea All Natural Pudding Souffle. It reduces frizz,enhances my twists out and has a light hold to keep the twists neat looking. While I like the double duty it offers I don’t like the white residue it leaves behind. If I use too much or if I use it paired with my Eco Styler gel, when I take my twists out,the white flakes make it look like I have dandruff. But I DON’T waste any products so I add some more oil during take down snd that helps.

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For styling, I usually twist or braid my hair,leave it in for 3 or 4 days, then rock a twist out for another few days or so. That’s it! I hope using these products faithfully in my routine (wash, deep condition, moisturize,and style)post partum shedding won’t be as severe.

Expectant moms, what is your current hair care routine? What products do you use?

10 Fall Activities in NYC

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10 Fall Activities in NYC

So, my favorite time of year is fast approaching: Autumn/Fall. I love everything about it…and yeah, I’m biased.Amani’s birthday is in November. I’m expecting Avery before the official start of Winter. So yeah, definitely biased.

NYC has a million activities going on everyday in every season in every borough. I may have to sit some of these out because I’ll be 7-8 months and I’ll be too paranoid to travel too far. However, that’s why I have you. I’m just going to live vicariously through you. Take pictures if you’re going to be partaking in anything I suggest. I will come up with a hashtag so I can see your pics on IG. I’ll let you know by the end of September. One more thing: I’m a frugalista mom,so a lot of these events are FREE 99. You’re welcome!

1)The Medieval Festival @Fort Tryon Park- Amani was just saying to me the other day that she wanted us to do more Fall themed  things this year and I’ve been to this festival as a kid. It screams Fall. First of all, you can dress as a medieval person. That’s a bonus for costume lovers like me and Amani. There is also period piece music for authenticity and magic( Amani loves the hidden camera magic TV show, The Carbonaro Effect). Plus,there is a joust! I think I may go back this year.

WHEN: September 30, 2018

WHERE: Fort Tryon Park

Riverside Drive

NY,NY

AGES: All

PRICE: FREE

CONTACT: (212)795-1600image

2)Harry Potter: A History of Magic- HP continues to have millions of hardcore even over a decade since it hit bookshelves. Although I have read every book in the series, it did not keep its magical hold on me. What turned my head to this event was the books, manuscripts, and other goodies from The British Library, NY Historical Society, Scholastic, and other sources. This event continues into the new year.

WHEN: 10/5/18-1/27/19

WHERE: New York Historical Society

170 Central Park West

NY,NY 10024

AGE:6+

PRICE: $21 adults, $16 seniors, $6 kids btwn 5&13,free 4&under,ticket includes admission to the museum

CONTACT: (212)873-3400nyhs-front-nyc-untapped-cities

3)Pumpkin Patch- We actually have a few farms throughout and right outside New York which is convenient. You need only pay for the pumpkin you choose, which varies by size. Pumpkin patches make great backdrops for baby pictures

WHEN: 10/6/18-10/27/18 @11AM-4PM

WHERE: Queens County Farm Museum

78-50 Little Neck Pkwy

Queens,NY

AGE: All

PRICE: FREE ADMISSION

CONTACT: (718)347-3276

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4)Annual Halloween Harvest @Luna Park- I love when there are activities that happen every year. It makes it easier to turn it into a family tradition. I was actually going to wait until Summer 2019 to take Avery for his first trip to a Powell family tradition, Luna Park(formerly Astro Land). But it still counts even if he’s not quite…here yet. I actually did not know that this existed but now I have an excuse to go to Coney Island Brooklyn twice a year.

WHEN:10/27/18

WHERE: Luna Park Coney Island

1000 Surf Avenue

Brooklyn, NY

PRICE: Free admission, fee for activities

CONTACT: (718)373-LUNA(5862)DSC_0208.JPG

5)Tours for Fours: People and Portraits- For my artsy fartsy types MOMA invites you to hear,see,and discuss ideas while admiring art in three dimensions.

WHEN: 10/6/18-10/28/18

WHERE:Museum of Modern Art

11 West 53rd Street

NY, NY 10019

AGES: 4 yr old and an adult

PRICE:FREE

CONTACT:(212)708-9400

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6) Con Edison Second Saturday Science! Soaring to New Heights- Mary Golda Ross was the first Native American female aeronautical engineer. Now you can make a hovercraft inspired by this pioneer of her time

WHEN: 11/10/18 @12PM-1PM

WHERE: Staten Island Children’s Museum @ Snug Harbor

1000 Richmond Terrace

Staten Island, NY 10301

AGES:1-9

PRICE: Free w/ $8 admission; Free for members

CONTACT:(212)637-8029staten-island-children

7) Pay As You Wish Wednesdays- I love going to the zoo and the Bronx Zoo is the biggest in all of NYC. I haven’t been there in years but I do remember that it is an all day experience, so get there early.

WHEN: 6/20/18-12/12/18

WHERE: Bronx Zoo

2300 Southern Boulevard

Bronx,NY 10460

AGES: All

PRICE: what ever you want,Wednesdays only

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8) Brooklyn Bridge Park:Environmental Education Center- This one is great because it has a couple things. It’s an aquarium with local sea fare from the East River, craft spot, reading corn and more.

WHEN:6/23/18-12/16/18,Tues.+ Thurs 3-5pm,Sat+ Sun 1-5pm

WHERE: Brooklyn Bridge Park

99 Plymouth Street

Brooklyn, NY

AGES: ALL

PRICE: FREE

CONTACT:(718)222-9939

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9)Holiday Train Show @ New York Botanical Garden- It’s the train show’s 27th showing. This year the focus is Lower Manhattan where NYC started. Some new additions to look for are One World Trade Center, the Battery Maritime Building and a couple of old school Staten Island Ferry boats.

WHEN: 11/17/18-1/21/19 @ 10AM-6PM

WHERE: New York Botanical Garden

2900 Southern Boulevard

Bronx,NY

AGES: ALL

PRICE: TBA

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10) Soweto Gospel Choir- Some inspirational music to start the winter holidays off right. These singers are from South Africa

WHEN: 12/4/18 @ 4PM

WHERE: Lehman College

250 Bedford Park Boulevard

Bronx,NY

AGES: ALL

PRICE: $25- $45; Children under 12, $10

CONTACT:(718)960-8025

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Which events will you be attending? Look out for the hashtag announcement!

Breakfast Blues

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You may see a simple breakfast plate but this delectable dish represents one thing I love to do for Amani: cooking her breskfast. I made this a few mornings ago and as I was setting up her plate,a sad thought occurred to me. I won’t be making her breskfasts for her like I have been once Avery is here. It’s not like I’m Betty Crocker over here making ALL her meals EVERY day but I like to do breakfast 3 times a week. Post Avery that will probably get cut in half. I would love to promise that I am going to do plan ahead frozen recipes like the ones pinned on my Food board on Pinterest,but that’s not going to happen. So the only options left are frozen waffles/breskfast sandwiches and breakfast at school. At least for the first few weeks after Avery comes home.

Making Amani’s favorite foods are one of the ways I show her love. She always praises her favorites and doubles the praise when I come up with new faves(last week it was pancakes w/ strawberry jelly and butter).

It is wonderful that I’m adding to our family but I hate the impending changes it will bring in our routine. Everyone has been telling me that our relationship will be fine but there is still that little tug in the back of my mind that questions if I’ll do or say one little thing and blow our whole relationship to smithereens.

HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN ROUTINE WHEN ADDING A NEW BABY TO THE HOUSEHOLD?